Why Annie Cryed
This was the last night of the Week of Prayer, and the students sat quietly listening to the speaker as he told them of the trials that lay ahead for God’s people and how they must get ready. It was a solemn occasion, and everyone knew that at the end of the service the speaker would call for testimonies and a full consecration.
Annie sat near the front with her roommate, Helen. She was listening vaguely, but she was thinking more. How much fun she and Helen had had rooming together these past two years! Soon they would be parting, and they would probably never see each other again. What would life be like without Helen? She wondered. Helen always helped with everything. They studied their Sabbath School Lessons together, and if she ever had to give a talk for the youth meeting or had other responsibilities placed on her it was Helen who helped her.
For, you see, Helen was raised an Adventist and Annie was not. How she envied Helen! It would always be easy for Helen to remain true, for she had her parents and brother and sisters. Annie had no one. Annie squeezed Helen’s hand without actually knowing she was doing it. Helen gave her a smile and squeezed back. How could Helen ever realize the turmoil that was going on in Annie’s heart?
Annie had spent a weekend or two with Helen and her family, and she had had to admit that it was the most fun she had ever had. Not that they had done anything special. Oh, no. Actually, if one considered the things they did, the weekend might have been classed as boring. But it had been so satisfying. Every morning Helen’s father had read from the Bible for morning worship and prayed that the family would be protected and kept from temptation during the day. Every evening they had gathered around the piano to sing. Sabbath they had gone out in the afternoon distributing literature and had paid a visit to a sick friend.
No, you couldn’t say that the things she had done with Helen were particularly exciting. It was just that the whole family had done them together, and they had all been happy just being together.
Annie sighed. Such a deep sigh, it was, that Helen looked at her and squeezed her hand again. Annie went on remembering. As long as she could remember her father and mother had been separated. Her father had been an Adventist when he was young, and when it came time for Annie to go to high school he had shipped her off to the Adventist high school, much to her mother’s disgust and certainly not because Annie wanted to go.
Weekend leaves were very difficult. She always went to her mother’s place, for she spent the summers with her father. And at her home Saturday was the day her mother always took her shopping for things she needed at school. There were usually parties to go to, and at first Annie had enjoyed them. But at the last party she went to she had felt strangely out of place. There had been dancing, and quite a few of the girls and boys had smoked.
No, Annie decided, she did not belong anywhere, really. Not at home with her mother, not with her father, and not with the Adventists. She was not a member of the church, even though sometimes she thought she would like to be.
The students were rising to testify now. She listened, a bit bored and not sure that she wanted to stand and say anything. Helen squeezed her hand and looked at her as though to ask her to stand with her. But Annie sat tight. She could not think of a thing to say. And she was not going to say she wanted to be ready for Jesus to come when she was not sure that she did.
This last thought startled her a bit. What did she want? She didn’t want to be lost. Yet how could she remain true when she had no encouragement? She began to cry. Helen stood and gave a testimony in her usual courageous and determined way. Annie could stand it no longer. She got up and ran from the chapel. When the meeting was over Helen went as quickly as she could to the dormitory. Annie lay across the bed sobbing her heart out. Helen did not know what to say, so she just sat down beside her.
A group of girls came to the door and asked whether Annie was ill. Helen told them she was not and gave them that please-get-out-of-here-and-don’t-ask-any-questions look, and they left. Miss Thompson came up to see if she could help, but Helen said she thought Annie wanted to be left alone.
Helen got ready for bed quietly. What should she do? She didn’t want to anger Annie. She had no idea what was bothering her. Maybe it was better just to let her cry.
Finally Annie stood up. ” Can I do anything to help?” Helen asked timidly.
” Nobody can help me,” Annie said. ” I’m lost and I know it. But what can I do?” She twisted the corner of her handkerchief. ” I know I won’t be ready to go to heaven when Jesus comes. But I’m not sure that I want to go anyway.”
Helen looked shocked. Not want to go to heaven? She had never heard anyone say such a thing before.
” Why should I want to go to heaven?” Annie asked, more of herself than of anyone else. ” Nobody I love will be there. My mother won’t be there. She couldn’t care less. My sisters can’t think of anything but new clothes and good times. They won’t be there. And my father — ” she almost laughed– ” I’ve heard him testify in church that he wants to be there, but you know he won’t be, not after leaving my mother and marrying another woman. Sure, he goes to church once in a while, but only when somebody special is going to preach. He won’t be in heaven, that’s for sure. He won’t give up his smoking habit and he loves parties.”
The lights went out, and Annie began to get ready for bed. Her tears were dry now, but she was still thinking. She was glad Helen didn’t say anything. She just needed someone to listen to her tonight. ” So,” she sighed, ” if no one I love will be there, why should I want to go?”
Helen pushed farther down under the covers. She didn’t know whether she would say anything or not. Finally she said softly, ” I want you to be there. And Jesus does.”
Annie jumped into bed and sat with her arms around her knees. There was a long silence. Helen wondered whether maybe she should not have spoken.
Then Annie spoke softly, with a lilt in her voice that showed the sorrow was gone. ” I guess that’s true, isn’t it? I’d better get ready.” She jumped out of her bed and grabbed Helen’s arm. ” Come, let’s say our prayers together.”
Yes, Jesus wants all of you to be there with Him. He paid an infinite price for your salvation and He is working untiringly for your salvation today. Do you want to be there? Whether you have been raised in the church or not, Jesus is well able to help everyone to prepare to be there. Just surrender your life to Him today and see the miracles He will work in your life.