“Now when the even was come, he sat down with the twelve. And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?”
Matthew 26:20-22
ISRAEL’S BIRTHDAY
We have here an account of Christ’s keeping the Passover. Being made under the law, He submitted to all the ordinances of it, and to this among the rest; it was kept in remembrance of Israel’s deliverance out of Egypt, the birthday of that people. It was a tradition of the Jews. The time when Christ ate the Passover was the usual time appointed by God, and observed by the Jews (Matthew 26:17). The awful scene of the seventy weeks were determined; transgression must be finished, reconciliation made, and an everlasting righteousness brought in (Daniel 9:24, 26)
The disciples took it for granted that their Master would eat the Passover, although persecuted by the chief priests, and His life sought, that He would not fulfill His duty, either by frightenings without or fears within. Those that do not follow Christ’s example, who make it an excuse for their not attending on the Lord’s Supper, our gospel Passover (The Lord’s Supper replaced the Passover. –The Faith I Live By, p. 300), that they have many troubles and many enemies, are full of care and fear; for, if so, they have the more need of that ordinance, to help to silence their fears, and comfort them under their troubles, to help them in forgiving their enemies, and casting all their cares on God. It should behoove us, therefore, that this be read with reverence and holy fear.
BETRAYAL!
Before solemn ordinances there must be solemn preparation. The preparation was made by the disciples (Matthew 26: 19). The celebration of the Passover is something the disciples understood full well as part of their religious experience and tradition. But, instead of speaking the traditional words associated with the Feast of Passover, Jesus made a startling new proclamation concerning the meal they were sharing. He made an even more startling prediction—that He would be betrayed by one of the disciples—treachery will be among them (Psalm 41: 9)—and deserted by all! As the night proceeded, these predictions came to pass. The disciples’ faith seemed to unravel, cave. . . . waver! (unsteady, hesitate). They were sorrowful, troubled! This grieved them! Gracious souls grieve for the sins of others especially of those that have made a more than ordinary profession of religion (2 Corinthians 11:29).
They were uncertain who it was and each of them was afraid for himself lest, as Hazael spoke, he was the dog that should do this great thing (2 Kings 8:13). They were not apt to suspect Judas, though he was a thief. Such a thought never entered their minds. It is possible for a hypocrite to go through the world, not only undiscovered, but unsuspected, like bad money so ingeniously counterfeited that nobody questions it. The heart of Judas desired only money and to be the greatest (This Day with God, p. 189). Christ knew of the imperfections of Judas yet accepted him to learn (That I May Know Him, p. 182)
To avoid coming under the suspicion of guilt by his silence, he knew very well it was he, and yet wished to appear a stranger to such a plot. Many whose consciences condemn them are very industrious to justify themselves before men, and put a good face on it, with, “Lord is it I?” He could not but know that Christ knew, and yet trusted so much to His courtesy, because he had hitherto concealed it, that he had the impudence to challenge Him to tell; or perhaps, he was so much under the power of infidelity, that he imagined Christ did not know it, as those who said, “The Lord shall not see” (Psalm 94:7), and asked, “Can He judge through the dark cloud?” Job 22:13
Christ soon answered this question; “thou hast said,” that is, “it is as thou hast said.” It was enough to convict him, and, if his heart had not been wretchedly hardened, to have broken the neck of his plot, when he saw it discovered to his Master, and discovered by him. They who are contriving to betray Christ, will, at some time or other, betray themselves, and their “own tongues will fall upon them.”
Those that know the strength and subtlety of the tempter, and their own weakness and folly, cannot but be in pain for themselves, when they hear that “the love of many shall wax cold.” Matthew 24:12. We know not how strongly we may be tempted, nor how far God may leave us to ourselves, and therefore have reason not to be high minded, but fear.
Our Lord Jesus, just before He instituted the Lord’s Supper, put His disciples upon this trial and suspicion of themselves, to teach us to examine and judge ourselves, and so to eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. All this time Jesus remains calm. In this and more He shows Himself to be the Lord of our wavering!
PROFESSIONS
The Lord of our waverings hears our genuine professions of faith. Let faith now mean our belief in the Lord’s words, our trust in His promises, and obedience to His commandments. His disciples had ample opportunity to express their faith in Him, and did so nearly every time an opportunity arose. We have equal opportunity to confess our faith and, like the disciples, we are ready to do so on most occasions that present themselves. Each time we testify the Lord gladly receives our professions of faith. He hears our professions in the hearty singing of a hymn, solemn declaration of our allegiance to Christ at the high moments of baptism, or ordination. He hears us witness to the power of prayer, the surety of comfort, the goodness of God’s will, and the nearness of God’s presence. But, profession is worthless without daily practice (In Heavenly Places, p. 356) and without following Christ (Maranatha, p. 54).
In whatever way we genuinely profess our faith in Jesus, the Lord hears and with favour. He hears our professions without correction; professions that are not fully formed and still farther from accurately describing spiritual truth in all its dimensions.
So, the Lord hears our profession of faith that makes us feel comforted. Instead of scolding us for the faith we do not have He rejoices in the faith we do have, and He works to build on it so we become strong and able to receive more.
FLICKERING FLAMES
God not only hears our genuine professions of faith. As Lord of our waverings He also knows our times of weakness and doubt. The disciples’ faith was but a flickering flame easily affected by the draft of circumstances. Jesus predicts it both in the Upper Room and at the Mount of Olives. One of the disciples will betray Him. Just as we know the facts concerning the disciples, so we know the truth about ourselves—“know thyself” (Socrates). “Faith is . . . simply taking God at His Word.” –This Day with God, p. 9
Many of us will not honour Jesus perfectly in every way on every day! Their flame of faith will flicker and even go out in time of weakness and doubt. The bad news is that they will waver; the good news is Jesus understands why.
WHY MANY DO WAVER:
1) SUBTLETY OF TEMPTATION
Jesus knows that many will waver because of the subtlety of temptation. The tempter knows that they would never try to put a candle in a gale, so He lets the breezes of temptation be gentle. Peter professed to have an unflinching devotion to Jesus. “If I should die with thee, I will not deny thee in any wise.” Mark 14:31. Ah! The other disciples joined in saying the same thing. But, temptation did not come to Peter first through some magistrate who put him on formal trial for his faith. It came through a maid on Caiaphas’ patio (Matthew 26:69–70). So the tempter always sneaks into our lives. We must be ready for the big temptations and also the small ones. Yet the small ones are more common, and they are sufficient to make us waver, to make the flame of faith flicker, by accepting temptation at the peril of our souls (In Heavenly Places, p. 254). The good news is that Jesus understands.
2) MYSTERY OF TRUTH (GODLINESS)
Jesus knows that we can waver also because of the mystery of truth (Godliness). A young carpenter built a table with the help of some assistants, equally young and unskilled. It was a fine table given the abilities of the carpenter and his assistants, equally young and unskilled. They know what a table would need and what a table was supposed to be like. They had the right materials and worked in the right direction. But they did not have the proper dimensions. The right materials were not cut to the right size.
The table was wobbly. Like the carpenter and his assistants, we have the right materials for religious faith, but if we do not have the proper dimensions of religious truth (Godliness), our faith may look in the right direction, but if we are too small to encompass the whole of it, our faith can be wobbly. The flame of our faith may flicker. We can waver because of the mystery of truth (Godliness). For the answer to the “mystery,” read 1 Timothy 3:16; Revelation 10:7. But Jesus understands.
3) THE PERPLEXITY OF SIN
The Lord understands that we can waver also because of the perplexity of sin. Many of us are ready to say with Paul, I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do (Romans 7:19). Wherever we may be in our journey of faith, we can identify with Paul as he tries his best to be faithful, but still wavers. Paul puts us in touch with our own struggle with sin. As much as we want to be rid of it, sin clings often to everything we do. Avoid sin by acting from reason rather than impulse (In Heavenly Places, p. 197). And the Lord understands.
RESERVED TABLE
Let us go further and see that all the while the Lord hears our genuine professions of faith and understands our time of weakness and doubt, the Lord of our wavering invites us to the table of fellowship and forgiveness. Although the Last Supper which we celebrate in Holy Communion, are all meaningful and deep, one of the most marvelous is that the paragraph describing the Last Supper follows the one discussing the betrayal. What this means is that the betrayer is at the table. We tend to think that Christ maintains holiness by keeping sin and sinners away when in reality even the betrayer of Christ has a place at the table of the Lord!
He invites sinners to this meal; He invites those whose faith wavers and falls. Even if we have betrayed our Lord He still welcomes us to His table. Neither our wavering and doubt nor our inability to completely grasp the mysteries of God’s truth and our sin can erase the fact that by Jesus Christ’s forgiveness and redeeming life, we are a part of His family. You are the one who belongs here. You are the one who has a place at this table and to this meal. You are still part of this family.
THE RIGHT PATH
Jesus’ invitation is a witness to true direction. We need to understand the mystery of Holy Communion. We need to explore the depths of its meaning. As a sacrament its function is to point to Jesus. It points to Him as the one who is true and faithful. It points to Him as the right way. In fact, when everything seems to get complicated and confusing, Holy Communion points to Christ. In doing so, it speaks the promise of the right direction, the right path. Through Holy Communion, Jesus Christ steadies us in our wavering.
Instead of denying our wavering, instead of despising ourselves because of it, let us learn to look upon Jesus as the Lord of our wavering. Let us set aside any bravado or false pride by which we are tempted to boast that we are unwavering in our faith and completely steady in our devotion. Let us set aside, as well, contempt for ourselves because of our wavering—wavering which we despise but cannot steady on our own.
Moreover, be encouragers instead of becoming impatient or scolding others for the faith they don’t yet have. Respond to others by growing in your own profession of faith. Be grace-filled toward each other, and practice grace with yourselves.
We don’t need to practice denial or give in to self-hate, self-deceit, or false pride. Instead, trust in the One who understands. Christ alone can place us on the right path (That I May Know Him, p. 67). Remember, Jesus already understands why.
The Saviour is indeed concerned about our wavering. But He is still more concerned about ourselves. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves me. He receives with joy all our faith, imperfect as it might be or seems. He knows all about our wavering and its causes: The Subtlety of Temptation, the Mystery of Truth (Godliness) and the Perplexity of Sin. Jesus invites us to His table which witnesses to His love, to our identity as His beloved, and to true direction in a confusing, insane world.
Jesus is ready to reign as the Lord of our wavering and steady us with His grace-filled acceptance in our journey of faith.
Are You Wavering? A hearty Amen!
John Theodorou
USA