Walk in Another Man’s Shoes

How can we walk in another man’s shoes if they don’t fit us? The shoes may be too big, or they may be too small, and if we try to walk in them we may experience pain. We may develop blisters on our feet. However, if we do walk in another man’s shoes, through the pain we experience, we may begin to understand a little bit of the pain they are experiencing in their life and we won’t be so quick to condemn them. Here is a story that will help to illustrate the point.
A poor man, Mr. Bishop owed a large sum of money to the bank. The bank manager, Mr. Merton, threatened to foreclose the mortgage and sell the house that Mr. Bishop was living in with his family.

In reply to Mr. Merton’s threat, Mr. Bishop sadly replied, “In that case, it will be sold, and after the struggles I have made, my family will again be homeless. It is hard. I only wish you had to earn your money as I do mine; you might then know something of the hard life of a poor man. If you could only in your imagination, walk in my shoes, I think you would have a little mercy on me.”

“It is useless talking; I extended this one year, and I can do so no longer,” replied Mr. Merton, as he turned to his desk and continued writing.

The poor man rose from his seat, and walked sadly out of Mr. Merton’s office. His last hope was gone. He had just recovered from a long illness, which had swallowed up the money with which he had intended to make the last payment on his house. True, Mr. Merton had waited one year when he failed to make the payments a year ago, due to illness in his family, and he had felt very thankful to him for so doing. This year he, himself, had been laid up for seven months, during which time he could not work, and all his savings were then needed for the support of his family. Again he failed, and now he would again be homeless, and have to begin the world anew. Had heaven forsaken him and given him over to the tender mercies of the wicked?

After he had left the office, Mr. Merton could not get the words which Mr. Bishop had spoken out of his mind, “I wish you had to earn your money as I do mine.”

At home, while doing some paperwork, in the midst of all the numbers on his page, the words seemed to appear, “Put yourself in my shoes.”

Unable to eliminate these thoughts from his mind, he laid down his pen saying, “Since I can’t get these thoughts out of my mind, I will have to drop in there this afternoon and see how it fares with his family; that man has aroused my curiosity.”

About five o’clock he put on a grey wig and some old, worn-out clothing and walked to Mr. Bishop’s house. Mrs. Bishop, a pale, weary-looking woman opened it. The poor old man requested permission to enter and rest awhile, saying he was very tired with his long journey, for he had walked many miles that day.

Mrs. Bishop politely invited him in, and gave him the best seat in the room; she then began making preparations for dinner.

The old gentleman watched her attentively. He saw there was no elasticity in her steps, no hope in her movements, and pity for her began to steal into his heart. When her husband entered, her features relaxed into a smile, and she forced a cheerfulness into her manner. The traveller noticed it all, and he was forced to admire this woman who could assume a cheerfulness she did not feel, for her husband’s sake. After the table was prepared (there was nothing on it but bread, butter and tea), they invited the stranger to eat with them, saying, “We have not much to offer you, but a cup of tea and a little bread will refresh you after your long journey.”

He accepted her hospitality, and, as they discussed the frugal meal, he carefully turned the conversation around, to talk of their affairs.

“I bought this piece of land,” said Mr. Bishop, “at a low price, and instead of waiting, as I should have, until I saved the money to build, I thought I would borrow a few hundred dollars, and build the house for the family. The interest on the money would be less than the rent I was paying, and I would have something to show for it. I did not think there would be any difficulty in paying back the money; but the first year my wife and one of the children were ill, and the expense left me without money to pay the debt. Mr. Merton, the banker, agreed to wait another year if I would pay the interest, which I did. This year I was for seven months unable to work at my trade and earn anything, and, of course, when pay-day comes around – and that will be very soon – I shall be unable to meet the demand.”

“But,” said the stranger, “will not Mr. Merton wait another year, if you make all the circumstances known to him?”
“No, sir,” replied Mr. Bishop; “I saw him this morning, and he said he must have the money right away or he will foreclose.”

“He must be very hard-hearted,” remarked the traveller.
“Not necessarily so,” replied Mr. Bishop. “The fact is, these rich men know nothing of the struggles of the poor. They are men, just like the rest of mankind, and I am sure if they had but the faintest idea of what the poor have to pass through, their hearts and purses would open. You know it has become a proverb, ‘When a poor man needs help he should go ask the poor.’ The reason is obvious. Only the poor know the curse of poverty. They know how heavily it falls, crushing the heart of man, and (to use my favourite expression) they can at once put themselves in the shoes of the unfortunate one and understand their difficulties, therefore they are ready to give help as much as they are able to. If Mr. Merton had the least idea what I and my family had to pass through, I think he would be willing to wait several years for his money rather than distress us.”

The stranger listened quietly, hiding his emotions. A new world was being opened to him. He was passing through an experience that had never been his before. Shortly after the conclusion of the meal he arose to leave, thanking Mr. And Mrs. Bishop for their kind hospitality. They invited him to stay the night, telling him he was welcome to what they had.
He thanked them, and said, “I think I can reach the next village before dark, and be so much further on my journey.”

Mr. Merton did not sleep much that night; he lay awake thinking. He had received a new revelation. The poor had always been associated in his mind with stupidity and ignorance, and the first poor family he had visited changed his way of thinking. He found they had greater intelligence in regards to sympathy and real politeness than any of the fashionable and wealthy people of his day.

The next day a boy came and dropped a large blue envelope addressed to Mr. Bishop.
Mrs. Bishop was very much alarmed when she took it, for large blue envelopes were associated in her mind with law and lawyers, and she thought it brought bad news. She put it away until her husband came home from work, when she handed it to him.

He opened it in silence, read its contents, and said, fervently, “Thank Heaven!”
“What is it, John?” inquired his anxious wife.
“Good news, wife,” replied John; “such good news as I never could have dreamed of.”
“What is it? What is it? Tell me quickly! I want to hear, if it is anything good.”

“Mr. Merton has cancelled the mortgage; released me from the debt, both interest and principal; and says any time I need further assistance, if I will let him know, I shall have it.”

“I am so glad! It puts new life into me,” said the now happy wife. “But what can have come over Mr. Merton?”
“I do not know. It seems strange after the way he talked to me yesterday morning. I will go right over to Mr. Merton’s and tell him how happy he has made us.”

He found Mr. Merton in his office, and expressed his gratitude in glowing terms.
“What could have encouraged you” he asked, “to show us so much kindness?”
“I followed your suggestion,” replied Mr. Merton, “and put myself in your shoes. I expect that it will surprise you very much to learn that the strange traveller to whom you showed so much kindness yesterday was I.”

“Indeed!” exclaimed Mr. Bishop, “can that be true? How did you disguise yourself so well?”
“I was not so much disguised, after all; but you could not very readily associate Mr. Merton, the banker, with a poor wayfaring man.”

“Well, it is a good joke,” said Mr. Bishop; “good in more sense than one. The end result has been good for me.”
“I was surprised,” said Mr. Merton, “at the broad and liberal views you expressed of men and their actions generally. I supposed I had greatly the advantage over you in means and education; yet how cramped and narrow minded have been my views compared to yours. That wife of yours is an estimable woman, and that boy of yours will be an honour to any man. I tell you, Mr. Bishop,” said the banker, becoming animated, “you are right – rich beyond what money could make; you have treasures that gold will not buy. I tell you, you owe me no thanks. Somehow I seem to have lived years since yesterday morning. What I have learned at your house is worth more than you owe me, and I am your debtor. Hereafter I shall take as my motto, ‘Put yourself in the other man’s shoes,’ and try to regulate my actions according to it.

May we all make that a motto of our lives and show kindness and compassion to those who have less material advantages than we do.