This article is based on the last chapters in the book by Ellen G. White, The Adventist Home.
Just like we have physical needs: food, water, exercise etc., so we also have social needs. Here we will be concentrating on what our social needs are and how we can fulfill them. So, what are our social needs? Our social needs are the things in life that we do not need in order to exist. We can physically exist without reading and writing, without listening to music and many other similar things that we enjoy in life. However, without these gifts, life would be very boring and empty.
For example, reading and writing are wonderful abilities, but they are like everything else, we need to control them. If we are reading books which contain violence, immorality, and other negative content then our thoughts will be of the same quality. We read in The Adventist Home pages 410–411 as follows: “Many youth are eager for books. They read anything that they can obtain. I appeal to the parents of such children to control their desire for reading. Do not permit upon your tables the magazines and newspapers in which are found love stories. Supply their place with books that will help the youth to put into their character-building the very best material—the love and fear of God, the knowledge of Christ. Encourage your children to store the mind with valuable knowledge, to let that which is good occupy the soul and control its powers, leaving no place for low, debasing thoughts. Restrict the desire for reading matter that does not furnish good food for the mind.”
Today, I believe that it is a great challenge for parents to control what children see on TV or on the computer screen and on the cell phone which, in many homes, have replaced reading materials. “There are those who profess to be brethren who do not take the Review, Signs, Instructor, or Good Health, but take one or more secular papers. Their children are deeply interested in reading the fictitious tales and love stories which are found in these papers, and which their father can afford to pay for, although claiming that he cannot afford to pay for our periodicals and publications on present truth.” –The Adventist Home, p. 415
Music is another talent that God has given us, and I am impressed with the talents that we have in our churches here in Canada, and all the wonderful programs that we see on the Internet from all over the world. Let us encourage the parents and our music teachers to keep up the good work of teaching our youth.
Courtesy and Kindness
“Courtesy will banish half life’s ills—The principle inculcated by the injunction, ‘Be kindly affectioned one to another,’ lies at the very foundation of domestic happiness. Christian courtesy should reign in every household. It is cheap, but it has power to soften natures which would grow rough and hard without it. . . . The courtesies of everyday life and the affection that should exist between members of the same family do not depend upon outward circumstances.
“Pleasant voices, gentle manners, and sincere affection that finds expression in all the actions, together with industry, neatness, and economy, make even a hovel the happiest of homes.” –Ibid., p. 421–422
“Gentle manners, cheerful conversation, and loving acts will bind the hearts of children to their parents by the silken chords of affection and will do more to make home attractive than the rarest ornaments that can be bought for gold.” –Ibid., p. 426–427
The way we conduct our speech is also affecting our social skills. “It is important that children and youth should be trained to guard their words and deeds; for their course of action causes sunshine or shadow, not only in their own home, but all with whom they come in contact.
“Unhappiness is often caused by an unwise use of the talent of speech. The word of God does not authorize anyone to speak harshly, thereby creating disagreeable feelings and unhappiness in the family. The other members of the family lose their respect for the one who speaks thus, when if he would restrain his feelings, he might win the confidence and affection of all.” –Ibid., p. 437
Another thing that affects our social life is gossiping. “The spirit of gossip and talebearing is one of Satan’s special agencies to sow discord and strife, to separate friends, and to undermine the faith of many in the truthfulness of our positions. It is natural for human beings to speak sharp words. Those who yield to this inclination open the door for Satan to enter their hearts and to make them quick to remember the mistakes and errors of others. Their failings are dwelt upon, their deficiencies noted, and words are spoken that cause a lack of confidence in one who is doing his best to fulfill his duty as a labourer together with God. Often the seeds of distrust are sown because one thinks that he ought to have been favoured but was not.” –Ibid., p. 441
The friends that we choose will also very much affect our social life. Therefore, it is very important that we choose good friends; always watch that you are not being led in a downward path by your friends. Do not be afraid to stand up for what is right. Often when we get together with our friends it is in our spare time or during our holidays. It is important that these social gatherings are used for the glory of God. For example, at the time of Thanksgiving, let us reflect on the blessings that God has given us, and also use this time to share with others the abundance that God has provided for us. It is good to give gifts to other people, but let them be meaningful gifts—something that can benefit their lives, either physically or spiritually. Give gifts that are of a real benefit, something that they can use. A good book is always an excellent gift. Let us always keep in mind that the family is to be a missionary centre and let us seek for opportunities to do good.
Our lives are full of duties and much is expected of us; therefore, it is important that we have a balance in life. You must take time to relax, regardless of how busy you are and how important your job is. In this time of the Coronavirus, some people are asked to stay at home and not go anywhere, not even to work. This is a mental challenge for many and for these it is important to find useful occupation, even if it is inside four walls. Keep a routine in your life, get up at a set time, have regular meals and sufficient exercise. If you find that the time is long, think about something good to do. You can practice music, read good books, or write a story, maybe an article for the Messenger, clean up a room, or maybe the garage. This will be a benefit to you and others and will keep your mind active and your body healthy.
At the same time, we have healthcare workers, doctors, nurses, and many others who, because of this pandemic have been overloaded with work and anxiety to the point that some have had nervous breakdowns, others have died of stress and heart attacks. Some have even committed suicide because of the enormous pressure.
We must take time to relax, before our mental and physical strength is exhausted to the point that we cannot handle it anymore. We have to step down and let God take over, and He will. Remember, we are only a tool in His hand.
There is a chapter in The Adventist Home that is called, Recreation is Essential.
Here are several important lessons. “There are persons with a diseased imagination to whom religion is a tyrant, ruling them as with a rod of iron. . . .
“They consider all recreation or amusement as sin and think that the mind must be constantly wrought up to just such a stern and severe pitch. This is one extreme. . . . I was shown that Sabbath keepers as a people labour too hard without allowing themselves change or periods of rest. Recreation is needful to those who are engaged in physical labour and is still more essential for those whose labour is principally mental. It is not essential to our salvation, nor for the glory of God, to keep
the mind labouring constantly and excessively, even upon religious themes.” –Ibid., p. 493–494
What Shall We Play?
The world today is full of games. There are so many games that people are playing and so many advertisements about games. But most of them are not good for us or for our children. It is important that our children and youth have vigorous exercise, but also these must be guided in the right direction. “While we restrain our children from worldly pleasures that have a tendency to corrupt and mislead, we ought to provide them innocent recreation, to lead them in pleasant paths where there is no danger. No child of God need to have a sad or mournful experience. Divine commands, divine promises show that this is so. Wisdom’s ways ‘are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.’ . . . Some of the most popular amusements, such as football and boxing, have become schools of brutality. They are developing the same characteristics as did the games of ancient Rome.” –Ibid., p. 498–500
What is going on today in hockey, football, basketball, and other similar sports is not recreation. It is big business and competition which is ruining many people’s lives.
“Let several families living in a city or village unite and leave the occupations which have taxed them physically and mentally, and make an excursion into the country, to the side of a fine lake, or to a nice grove where the scenery of nature is beautiful. They should provide themselves with plain, hygienic food, the very best fruits and grains, and spread their table under the shade of some tree or under the canopy of heaven. The ride, the exercise, and the scenery will quicken the appetite, and they can enjoy a repast which kings might envy.
“On such occasions parents and children should feel free from care, labor, and perplexity. Parents should become children with their children, making everything as pleasant for them as possible. Let the whole day be given to recreation. Exercise in the open air for those whose employment has been within doors and sedentary will be beneficial to health. All who can should feel it a duty to pursue this course. Nothing will be lost, but much gained. They can return to their occupations with new life and new courage to engage in their labor with zeal, and they are better prepared to resist disease.” –Ibid., p. 501–502
Also, a day at church when we clean up and repair things can be a great way to spend time together, and at the same time do something that has a lasting benefit for all.
If you do not feel well, do not remain completely inactive. “I have been instructed that as the sick are encouraged to leave their rooms and spend time in the open air, tending the flowers or doing some other light, pleasant work, their minds will be called from self to something more health giving. Open-air exercise should be prescribed as a beneficial, life-giving necessity.
“We can but be cheerful as we listen to the music of the happy birds and feast our eyes upon flourishing fields and gardens. We should invite our minds to be interested in all the glorious things God has provided for us with a liberal hand. And in reflecting upon these rich tokens of His love and care, we may forget infirmities, be cheerful, and make melody in our hearts unto the Lord.” –Ibid., p. 510
The last three chapters in The Adventist Home tell us that there is a reward for being a Christian. “The life on earth is the beginning of the life in heaven; education on earth is an initiation into the principles of heaven; the lifework here is a training for the lifework there. What we now are, in character and holy service is the sure foreshadowing of what we shall be.” –Ibid., p. 535
Life in Heaven will not be boring. “In the earth made new the redeemed will engage in the occupations and pleasures that brought happiness to Adam and Eve in the beginning. The Eden life will be lived, the life in garden and field. ‘They shall build houses, and inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, and eat the fruit of them. They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of My people, and Mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.’
“There every power will be developed, every capability increased. The grandest enterprises will be carried forward, the loftiest aspirations will be reached, the highest ambitions realized. And still there will arise new heights to surmount, new wonders to admire, new truth to comprehend, fresh objects to call forth the powers of body and mind and soul.” –Ibid., p. 549
By the grace of God let us all strive to enter that wonderful kingdom; there all our social needs will be met forever. May God grant us all to be there. Amen.
Evald Pedersen