What is it all about, learning to forgive?
“Every association of life calls for the exercise of self-control, forbearance, and sympathy. We differ so widely in disposition, habits, education, that our ways of looking at things vary. We judge differently. Our understanding of truth, our ideas in regard to the conduct of life, are not in all respects the same. There are no two whose experience is alike in every particular. The trials of one are not the trials of another. The duties that one finds light are to another most difficult and perplexing.
“So frail, so ignorant, so liable to misconception is human nature, that each should be careful in the estimate he places upon another. We little know the bearing of our acts upon the experience of others. What we do or say may seem to us of little moment, when, could our eyes be opened, we should see that upon it depended the most important results for good or for evil.” –Gospel Workers, p. 473
“Self is the enemy we most need to fear. No form of vice has a more baleful effect upon the character than has human passion not under control of the Holy Spirit. . . . We should not allow our feelings to be easily wounded. We are to live, not to guard our feelings or our reputation, but to save souls. As we become interested in the salvation of souls, we cease to mind the little differences that so often arise in our association with one another. . . . Do not retaliate, so far as you can do so, remove all cause for misapprehension. . . . If impatient words are spoken to you, never reply in the same spirit. Remember that ‘a soft answer turneth away wrath.’ Proverbs 15:1. Under a storm of stinging, faultfinding words, keep the mind stayed upon the word of God.” –Help for Daily Living, p. 25–27
I remember someone once said, “Only when you have experienced the pain of guiltiness, then you will know the value of being forgiven, and how healing it is when you forgive someone.” An example of a soul who had longed for forgiveness is Jacob; he longed to be freed from the burden of guilt, and for about twenty years he lived a miserable and anxious life. “Lonely and outcast as he was, separated from all that had made life dear, the one thought that above all others pressed upon his soul, was the fear that his sin had cut him off from God, that he was forsaken of Heaven.” –Steps to Christ, p. 19
When he got the chance Jacob could not let it go until he got what he longed for. We can draw a lesson from the conduct of David toward Saul. “By command of God, Saul had been anointed as king over Israel.” –Help in Daily Living, p. 24
Now, “because of his disobedience, the Lord declared that the kingdom should be taken from him; and yet how tender and courteous and forbearing was the conduct of David toward him! In seeking the life of David, Saul came into the wilderness and unattended, entered the very cave where David with his men of war lay hidden.” –Ibid., p. 24
You know David’s response to his men, when they urged him take away the life or Saul. Such response is from one who has learned to forgive. As long as we are in the world, we shall meet adverse influences. There will be provocations to test our tempers and it is by meeting these in the right spirit that the Christian graces are developed.
Again, we need not keep our own record of trials and difficulties, griefs and sorrows, or even wrongs of our associates. Because all those are written in the books of heaven and heaven will take care of them. While we are counting the disagreeable things, many things that are pleasing to reflect upon, things to heal and rejuvenate and to enlighten the soul, are passing from our memory; and thus our lives are darkened and choked by sadness and bitterness. God cannot dwell in such a person.
“Life is chiefly made up, not of great sacrifices and wonderful achievements but of little things. It is often through the little things which seem so unworthy of notice that a great good or evil is brought into our lives. It is through our failure to endure the tests that come to us, that habits are molded character misshaped; and when greater tests come, they find us unready.” –Help in Daily Living, p. 32.
Study the history of Joseph and Daniel. The Lord did not prevent the plotting of men who sought to do harm, but He caused all these devices to work for God and to His servants, who, amidst trial and conflict, preserved their faith and loyalty. When brought face to face with his brothers who concertedly sold him to strangers, Joseph broke down and wept with them.
He had a chance for revenge but he did not take it. “Feeling that they had already suffered enough for their cruelty toward him, he nobly sought to banish their fears and lessen the bitterness of their self-reproach.” –Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 230
You may not realize that you are harbouring past hurts until something comes along to expose your pain. But when you forgive and leave it unto God, He can cleanse your heart and mind with love and forgiveness and give you more power to forgive, thus you become a conqueror. All the bitterness of life is washed away, and Jesus will live in you, thus you will taste the fragrance of heavenly peace while still on earth.
There are so many lessons which we can draw from the conduct of men and women of God from the Bible that can fill up many pages. May the Lord God fill us with His Spirit, to help us do something every day to improve, beautify and ennoble the life that Christ has purchased with His own blood and LEARN TO FORGIVE. Amen.
Evalyne Neema Kasiwa
Kenya