Why do we have to feel pain? When hurtful things happen to us we often ask, “Why?”. Why do we have to go through these difficult times? Why doesn’t God save us out of them, and prevent anything more hurtful from happening to us? When we have been hurt, we must view it as a test, to see what we will do. Will we learn to truly forgive as Christ said “until seventy times seven”? Matthew 18:22. Or will we harbour bitterness and hatred in our hearts, allowing the devil to win?

If we don’t learn the lesson of forgiveness the first time, God will bring the same test to us over and over again, in different circumstances and with different people. This is true of all lessons God is trying to teach His people. No matter how hard it is for us to learn the lesson, He is like a patient father, teaching His child to ride a bike. Each time we fall down, He is there to pick us back up again and put us on that bike. He doesn’t stop the training until we can forgive others generously, quickly and with ease. Until we can learn this lesson, we cannot grow spiritually. Just like a plant, if we are not growing spiritually, we are dying.

It is hard to forgive others, especially when they have gone out of their way to hurt us. We should always try to understand and forgive others, especially because their behaviour may be a silent cry for help. Also, we should remember that we are all just as guilty before God. It is possible we have wronged the ones who have wronged us, maybe even more than they have hurt us. We are all under the same sentence; “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23. None of us should feel that we are so far above others that we don’t have to forgive them. God forgave us, and we did far more wrong to Him than one human being could ever do to another.

Therefore, no matter how much wrong a person has done to you, or how deliberate you felt that wrong to be, always remember that Jesus was killed by people who hated Him. And Jesus used one of His last breaths in uttering His forgiveness to His killers (Luke 23:34). If we are called to be like Jesus, how much training in the art of forgiveness do we really need? We need Jesus alone to teach it to us, for Jesus is the only one who can. Our sinful, human hearts will not forgive. But if we recognize our problem, telling it to Jesus, we may have perfect assurance of victory over holding grudges.

Corrie Ten Boom was a woman who lived through a German Nazi concentration camp. A German soldier cruelly tortured Corrie, and killed her own sister in front of her. Later, after the war, Corrie, who was a Christian, was giving a talk on forgiveness when she noticed the same soldier in the crowd! After the meeting he came up to her to shake her hand. He reached out to take her hand, while expressing his extreme sorrow over his actions. For a moment she hesitated and struggled inside, but she forced herself to make the action of forgiveness and take his hand. As she smiled and told the man she forgave him, it was then that she truly felt she had forgiven him. So, we see that we cannot rely on our own sinful heart for forgiveness. Our sinful human hearts will not forgive. It is purely a conscious action that we do by faith, knowing that it is the right thing to do, even though we may have no feeling of forgiveness at all. After we make the outward action of forgiving someone by faith, it is then that God will heal our heart.

It is solemn to think that if a person has wronged us, then sincerely asked for forgiveness, it becomes our Christian duty to forgive them. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14, 15. We must not only say we have forgiven them, we must act like it.  Otherwise, it becomes sin on our part, and any sin will keep us out of heaven.

My wish and prayer for us all is that we may “Know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.  Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.  Hereby perceive we the love of God, because He laid down His life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:14–16

Wendy Eaton