False Sympathy

Emotions are feelings. They make us who we are. We are all unique, having different levels of emotions. Some have very strong emotions and they can easily get very angry or overly happy and jolly. Others show little emotion – they are always even-tempered.

Emotions can be very powerful in that they can elicit a response from others. Often this response is not what a person would want to do, but they feel compelled to act in a certain way due to the strong emotion from someone else. For example, when a person shows a strong negative emotion like anger, it can cause others to fear and want to run in the other direction. This has led many children to obey their teachers or parents – not from love, but from fear due to a constant barrage of angry words. However, away from these angry elders, the children will do as they please. The angry words only bring temporary obedience, commonly bringing about the opposite of the desired response in secret. ” Rebellion is too frequently established in the hearts of children through the wrong discipline of the parents… When given a jerk or blow, do you think it enables him to see the beauty of the Christian character? No indeed; it only tends to raise evil feelings in the heart, and the child is not corrected at all.” CG 282.

There are other strong emotions also, such as shame, disgust, disapproval – all of which will cause a person to react in a particular way than they would normally react if these emotions were not directed towards them.

On the other hand, there are strong positive emotions such as love. When two people are in love, they would happily do even the most mundane duties for the other person because of the love. When we talk of the love of God – its drawing power is irresistible – it can melt a heart of stone. When understood in its fullest this emotion has changed lives. It has created a similar love in a person, giving them a strong desire to share the love.

Many emotions can be used for good or for evil; to manipulate someone else. They are good when they are genuine, however they can be twisted and used to deceive people for evil, while still looking good. ” The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.” Psalm 55:21

The emotion I want to address is sympathy. Sympathy is commonly thought of as comforting someone who is in trouble or full of sorrow. ” With hearts filled with sympathy and compassion, they are to minister to those in need of help, bringing to sinners a knowledge of the Saviour’s love. Such work calls for laborious effort, but it brings a rich reward. Those who engage in it with sincerity of purpose will see souls won to the Saviour, for the influence that attends the practical carrying out of the divine commission is irresistible.” AA 109 This is genuine sympathy. It is what God wants us to have for our fellow beings.

People feel very sad when deprived of human sympathy. ” Thus he seemed to be shut away from all human sympathy. His only hope of help was in a merciful God, and to Him he appealed in brokenness of heart.” AA 118 ” The desire for love and sympathy is implanted in the heart by God Himself. Christ, in His hour of agony in Gethsemane, longed for the sympathy of His disciples. And Paul, though apparently indifferent to hardship and suffering, yearned for sympathy and companionship. The visit of Onesiphorus, testifying to his fidelity at a time of loneliness and desertion, brought gladness and cheer to one who had spent his life in service for others.” AA 491 ” Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?” Matthew 18:33

Sympathy is good when used genuinely for the purpose that God intended. It helps us to get out of ourselves and to think of others in their need. Unfortunately this emotion has also been used very successfully by Satan in manipulating and deceiving others into a wrong course.

Before the earth was created, there was a problem in heaven. Lucifer had decided he really didn’t want to keep the law of God, and he knew that being angry would not benefit him in any way. If he got angry all the heavenly host would see him for who he really was and he would have no supporters. He spoke as though he was genuinely troubled about God and His leadership. Many of the other angels sympathised with him. They too, were led to question God. Satan successfully used sympathy to deceive. The result was 1/3 of the angels being cast out of heaven along with him. ” He sought to create sympathy for himself by representing that God had dealt unjustly with him in bestowing supreme honor upon Christ. He claimed that in aspiring to greater power and honour he was not aiming at self-exaltation, but was seeking to secure liberty for all the inhabitants of heaven, that by this means they might attain to a higher state of existence.” GC 495

It was sympathy that brought all the sin, evil and corruption into this world. When Eve was in the Garden of Eden Satan showed great sympathy for her. Poor Eve, she was not allowed to eat of the tree of knowledge. After all, the fruit was so delicious- he was enjoying it fully, but Eve was, unfortunately, denied the good things in life. Eve was deceived by his sympathy and ended up joining Satan in sin. Isn’t this the same today? Satan stirs up his followers (worldly people or false Christians) to sympathise with God’s people. He has been very successful with the young people. Oh how these poor Christians have such a sad life. They don’t get to enjoy the ‘fun’ entertainments, foods and dress that are available in this world. Most other Christians enjoy these good things and believe they are accepted by God, and will eventually be permitted to enjoy eternal life, but you poor Adventist Reformers? – how sad your life must be. He has been very successful with this false sympathy.

When the nation of Israel was wandering in the wilderness, they convinced Aaron to make them a golden calf, by creating in his mind false sympathy. ” And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him. Exodus 32:1. The Israelites were fearful. They were like sheep without a shepherd, and Aaron had sympathy for them. Rather than encouraging them to turn to the Lord, he complied with their wishes.

When Israel was about to enter Canaan the first time, the 10 spies were frightened and did not believe that God could help them conquer those giants. Sympathy to these 10 unfaithful spies resulted in 40 years of wandering in the wilderness for Ancient Israel.

Later on in their journey, there were severe consequences when Korah, Dathan and Abiram, worked on the sympathies of the Israelites for their political purposes. ” There is nothing which will please the people better than to be praised and flattered when they are in darkness and wrong, and deserve reproof. Korah gained the ears of the people, and next their sympathies, by representing Moses as an overbearing leader. He said that he was too harsh, too exacting, too dictatorial, and that he reproved the people as though they were sinners when they were a holy people, sanctified to the Lord, and the Lord was among them. Korah rehearsed the incidents in their experience in their travels through the wilderness, where they had been brought into strait places, and where many of them had died because of murmuring and disobedience, and with their perverted senses they thought they saw very clearly that all their trouble might have been saved if Moses had pursued a different course. He was too unyielding, too exacting, and they decided that all their disasters in the wilderness were chargeable to him. Korah, the leading spirit, professed great wisdom in discerning the true reason for their trials and afflictions.” 3T 345. This deception caused a great loss of life.

When King Saul sinned in not destroying the Amelekites according to God’s direction, he tried to gain sympathy from Samuel. He said he had no choice. Samuel, however, refused to be deceived by the false sympathy. He stood his ground for what is right. ” And Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice. Now therefore, I pray thee, pardon my sin, and turn again with me, that I may worship the LORD. And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.” 1 Samuel 15:24-26.

It is not easy being a church leader, especially when a member strays from the truth and needs to be disciplined. It has happened in the past that when a church leader has been called upon to bring reproof for a straying member, or when the committee places an unfaithful member on church discipline, that the person feels offended. If they don’t repent, often they try to elicit sympathy from the other members, claiming that they have been falsely accused and misunderstood. It may go as far as the other members condoning the person in wrong; believing that the church leader made a mistake. This sympathy only causes them to feel justified in their sin. It may have been something simple, like the tone of the voice of the person bringing the reproof or a word spoken unthinkingly, so the offended sinner justifies their wrong action and has support from false sympathisers in the church. Showing sympathy for someone who is in sin is a very dangerous action

” In almost every case where reproof is necessary, there will be some who entirely overlook the fact that the Spirit of the Lord has been grieved and His cause reproached. These will pity those who deserved reproof, because personal feelings have been hurt. All this unsanctified sympathy places the sympathizers where they are sharers in the guilt of the one reproved. In nine cases out of ten if the one reproved had been left under a sense of his wrongs, he might have been helped to see them and thereby have been reformed. But meddlesome, unsanctified sympathizers place altogether a wrong construction upon the motives of the reprover and the nature of the reproof given, and by sympathizing with the one reproved lead him to feel that he has been really abused; and his feelings rise up in rebellion against the one who has only done his duty. Those who faithfully discharge their unpleasant duties under a sense of their accountability to God will receive His blessing.” 5T 679

” I saw that many souls have been destroyed because their brethren unwisely sympathized with them, when their only hope was to be left to see and realize the full extent of their wrongs. But as they eagerly accept the sympathy of unwise brethren, they receive the idea that they are abused; and if they attempt to retrace their steps, they make half-hearted work. They divide the matter to suit their natural feelings, lay blame upon the reprover, and so patch up the matter. It is not probed to the bottom, and is not healed, and they again fall into the same wrong, because they were not left to feel the extent of their wrong, and humble themselves before God and let him build them up. False sympathizers have worked in direct opposition to the mind of Christ and ministering angels.” GW 85

Even if we are not church leaders, we have a duty to lovingly reprove our brothers and sisters who may be straying. They may be making excuses for their actions, seeking our sympathy. It is tempting to pity them, thinking that they are justified in their course of action due to unforseen circumstances that they were not prepared for, or that were beyond their control, so they had to sin. Are we correct to sympathize with them in their sin? We can have sympathy for the fact that they have left the Lord’s side, but never should we condone their sin. No matter how much they attempt to justify their course of action – or blame others for their course of action, sin is sin and needs to be repented of. There is no excuse for sin, and never should we sympathize with someone’s sin.

Another problem that occasionally arises is that people say they are too poor to pay tithe. They can’t even feed and clothe their children, how on earth could they pay tithes? Their lot in life is difficult. We read from the Spirit of Prophecy, ” When they acknowledged the claims of God and complied with His requirements, honouring Him with their substance, their barns were filled with plenty. But when they robbed God in tithes and in offerings they were made to realize that they were not only robbing Him but themselves, for He limited His blessings to them just in proportion as they limited their offerings to Him.” 3T, 395. We should show them sympathy, but not the sympathy they expect. Not sympathy that would excuse them in their duty to God, and condone sin, but rather show them sympathy that they have cut themselves off from the blessing of God.

” The Lord teaches us that… He would have his people acknowledge the justness of his corrections, that others may fear. In these last days, many are liable to be self-deceived, and they are unable to see their own wrongs. If God, through his servants, reproves and rebukes the erring, there are those who stand ready to sympathize with those who deserve reproof. They will seek to lighten the burden which God compelled his servants to lay upon them. These sympathizers think they are performing a virtuous act by sympathizing with the one at fault, whose course may have greatly injured the cause of God. Such are deceived. They are only arraying themselves against God’s servants, who have done his will, and against God himself, and are equally guilty with the transgressor. There are many erring souls who might have been saved if they had not been deceived by receiving false sympathy.” 1SP 278

When new light is brought to God’s people, there will always be opposers who say that the way is being made too strait. They like the way things were before and they will rebel against any advanced light. They say that there is no need to make the cross any heavier. They, in reality, don’t want to take up the cross – there are some darling sins that they are retaining and they seek to gain the sympathy and support of other believers in condemning as fanatics those who are advancing in the new light. Others who don’t want to accept the new light also join them in sympathy. This has caused many divisions and shakings in the church.

There is no such thing as ‘new light’. It is all old light – but it is being revealed little, by little to God’s people and there will always be opposers. This sympathy will cause the destruction of many people.

The desire for false sympathy begins in childhood. ” The curse of God will surely rest upon unfaithful parents. Not only are they planting thorns which will wound them here, but they must meet their own unfaithfulness when the judgment shall sit. Many children will rise up in judgment and condemn their parents for not restraining them and charge upon them their destruction. The false sympathy and blind love of parents cause them to excuse the faults of their children and pass them by without correction, and their children are lost in consequence, and the blood of their souls will rest upon the unfaithful parents.” CG 563

” We may do the children and the youth a lifelong good by teaching them to meet bravely these troubles and burdens. While we should give them sympathy, let it never be such as to foster self-pity. What they need is that which stimulates and strengthens rather than weakens.” CG 157

Here is an excerpt from the Spirit of Prophecy. Sister White was reproving a man for using erroneous sympathy to turn people away from the Spirit of Prophecy. His actions caused trouble for some of the members in the church. You can read the full narrative in the Spirit of Prophecy, however, from these paragraphs you will hopefully get an understanding of how Satan tries to work among God’s people with the use of false sympathy.

” Brother M, you have so presented matters to others that you have gained their sympathy. Your friends and sympathizers have lost faith in the testimonies. You have gained their sympathies by misstatements and misapplication of that which the Lord has sent you to save you from ruining your soul and the souls of others. You have planted the seeds of doubt and unbelief, and when your own soul may be rescued and faith takes the place of doubts, can you gather up the evil seeds of doubt you have planted in the minds of others? Will you be pleased to meet this work in the judgment?

” You cannot now see the work you have done. A power from beneath has taken possession of your soul. Shall your heart be the victim of the dupe of lies? Will the truth of God be kept away from the heart? Blind parental affection will easily give sympathy and encouragement which will be a savor of death. This is a love that is unsanctified; it comes in to prevent the messages of warning and condemnation from God for a dangerous, sinful course which, if pursued, will work to the ruin of the soul. Such love is like the tender mercies of the wicked, only cruelty in disguise. Those who work under deception to gain this sympathy and support will surely meet with great loss and obtain the disfavor of God….

” Doubts were created, and seeds of unbelief sown in regard to my work. Your only objection to the testimonies is similar to the objection of skeptics and infidels to the Bible; it condemns their course of sin and evil. The testimonies condemn your course, point out your transgressions, and will not vindicate or praise in you a course of sin…

” The lessons that you have given by precept and example have done a work, the results of which eternity alone will reveal, while you were concealing your own wrongs. You have imparted all you knew that was faulty in others, purely out of bitterness and revenge, which strengthened and confirmed him [Brother G] to vindicate his unrighteous course, when you yourself were a far greater sinner in the sight of God.” 21MR 162/16

In conclusion, when a person comes to you seeking sympathy, you need to be careful. Are they genuinely needing sympathy or are they planning to use your sympathy for their own purposes to cause you to condone and support them in wrong? Satan was very successful with the angels of heaven, and also many times on this earth. We need to pray that the Lord will keep us from losing our souls through sympathy that is opposed to the truth of God, and opposed to the warnings and reproofs that He sends to His people. Also it is important to have a clear understanding of the Bible and testimonies; a ” thus saith the Lord” , and not sympathize with a brother in wrong.

The true kind of sympathy that Jesus wants us to have is this: ” Blessed are they also who weep with Jesus in sympathy with the world’s sorrow and in sorrow for its sin. In such mourning there is intermingled no thought of self. Jesus was the Man of Sorrows, enduring heart anguish such as no language can portray. His spirit was torn and bruised by the transgressions of men. He toiled with self-consuming zeal to relieve the wants and woes of humanity, and His heart was heavy with sorrow as He saw multitudes refuse to come to Him that they might have life. All who are followers of Christ will share in this experience. As they partake of His love they will enter into His travail for the saving of the lost. They share in the sufferings of Christ, and they will share also in the glory that shall be revealed. One with Him in His work, drinking with Him the cup of sorrow, they are partakers also of His joy.” MB 12

May God help us to show genuine sympathy when it is needed, but beware of others who are trying to put us on the wrong pathway by false sympathy.
AMEN