“Then said Jesus unto His disciples, If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” Matthew 16:24
SELFISHNESS
What really is self and selfishness and how is it manifested? We talk a lot about it, we hear sermons about it. “We have no enemy without that we need to fear. Our great conflict is with unconsecrated self.” –Counsels on Stewardship, p. 21
Selfishness is when self is all-important and everything else is secondary. In the world there is a saying that goes, “looking out for number one.” That number one is self. The implication is that all that you do must be for the good of self, primarily. In the Christian world it is supposed to be the opposite.
When we use the term selfish religion, these terms are mutually exclusive. Thus the term has come into use, false religion as opposed to true religion. The word religion has the connotation to make one think that the person who adheres to religious beliefs is a good moral individual – a cut above the rest of the population. However, sadly, false religion has been the greatest enemy of true religion, as it comes clothed in sheep’s clothing but is a wolf inside; “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.” 2 Corinthians 11:14
The greatest deceivers in the world are false Christians “Halfhearted Christians are worse than infidels; for their deceptive words and noncommittal position lead many astray. The infidel shows his colours. The lukewarm Christian deceives both parties. He is neither a good worldling nor a good Christian. Satan uses him to do a work that no one else can do.” –Our High Calling, p. 384
Are there such people in God’s church? Very possible. “The mighty shaking has commenced and will go on, and all will be shaken out who are not willing to take a bold and unyielding stand for the truth and to sacrifice for God and His cause.” –Early Writings, p. 50. The Spirit of Prophecy is describing the members of God’s church in this statement.
“I turned to look at the company who were still bowed before the throne; they did not know that Jesus had left it. Satan appeared to be by the throne, trying to carry on the work of God. I saw them look up to the throne, and pray, ‘Father, give us Thy Spirit.’ Satan would then breathe upon them an unholy influence; in it there was light and much power, but no sweet love, joy, and peace. Satan’s object was to keep them deceived and to draw back and deceive God’s children.” –Early Writings, p. 50
“If pride and selfishness were laid aside, five minutes would remove most difficulties.” –Early Writings, p. 119. The greatest curse to the church and for all problems in the world is selfishness and pride.
MANIFESTATIONS OF SELFISHNESS
There are many ways that selfishness is manifested. Here are just a few:
Offended: “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalm 119:165. “We cannot afford to let our spirits chafe over any real or supposed wrong done to ourselves. Self is the enemy we most need to fear. . . . No other victory we can gain will be so precious as the victory gained over self.
“We should not allow our feelings to be easily wounded. We are to live, not to guard our feelings or our reputation, but to save souls. As we become interested in the salvation of souls we cease to mind the little differences that so often arise in our association with one another. Whatever others may think of us or do to us, it need not disturb our oneness with Christ, the fellowship of the Spirit.” –The Ministry of Healing, p. 485
“What glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.” 1 Peter 2:20. Those that get offended easily have not died to self. They are selfish, all they think of is “poor me, they have done me wrong.”
Depression: Anti-depressant drugs are amongst the most widely prescribed drugs in the world. What kind of world is this when there are so many depressed people? Is there no happiness to be found? People who have an inner focus often can get depressed. They study their lives and see little good.
“As soon as one begins to contemplate his feelings, he is on dangerous ground. If he feels joyous, he is confident he is in a favourable condition, but when a change comes, as it will, for circumstances will be so arranged that feelings of depression will make the heart sad, then he will be naturally led to doubt that God has accepted him. It is not wisdom to look at the emotions, and try to test your spirituality by your feelings. Do not study yourself; look away from self to Jesus.” –The Signs of the Times, December 3, 1894
Shyness: A shy person is one who is bashful and timid. They often show discomfort or lack of confidence in association with others. Can this be a manifestation of selfishness?
“A half service, loving the world, loving self, loving frivolous amusements, makes a timid, cowardly servant; he follows Christ a great way off.” –The Adventist Home, p. 431(emphasis mine)
To be shy is being focused on yourself and what others may think of you. Having said this, it does not mean that every person is outgoing and talkative in public settings. There are people who are meek and quiet in spirit and do less talking and more listening. This is a good character trait. These people will have no problem speaking out when called to do so, but will not be seeking to be the centre of attention in public settings.
Mid-life Crisis: When people age and see that they have passed the mid-way point, there is danger of looking back at their accomplishments and being disappointed. And they may worry that they will reach the end of their lives and not accomplish what they should have. It is a crisis that may be experienced in middle age involving frustration, panic, and feelings of pointlessness, sometimes resulting in radical and often ill-advised changes of lifestyle. This person is focusing on themselves.
“It is not wise to look to ourselves and study our emotions. If we do this, the enemy will present difficulties and temptations that weaken faith and destroy courage. Closely to study our emotions and give way to our feelings is to entertain doubt and entangle ourselves in perplexity. We are to look away from self to Jesus.” –The Ministry of Healing, p. 249
JUSTIFYING SELF
To justify self means to defend, or uphold, self. Have you met Christians who are unwilling to let go of self, and seek to defend or uphold it? They do exist in all Christian churches, even in God’s church. This has been done from the days of Adam and Eve. “They profess that they know God; but in works they deny Him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.” Titus 1:1
Have you ever been led by the Spirit to show someone their errors and, rather than repenting, they make excuses for their behaviour or character flaws? They have no desire to let go of self and when found out, they try to justify their behaviours. They defend self vehemently, and some will go as far as to claim that there is nothing wrong with their actions and give reasons that seem valid for their erroneous behaviours, such as why they are always angry, or why they are late to church every week. “Angels have been grieved and God displeased by the hours which have been spent in justifying self.” –Early Writings, p. 119
“If the deceptive covering which is about you could be rent asunder so that you could see yourself as God sees you, you would no longer seek to justify self but would fall all broken upon Christ, the only One who can remove the defects in your character and then bind you up.” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 573
“To be without the graces of the Spirit of God is sad indeed; but it is a more terrible condition to be thus destitute of spirituality and of Christ and yet try to justify ourselves by telling those who are alarmed for us that we need not their fears and pity. Fearful is the power of self-deception on the human mind!” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 88. It is actually a denial of Christ, as grievous as when Peter denied Jesus. “We may deny Him by loving our own opinions and by seeking to maintain and justify self.” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 3, p. 332
We see the example of King Saul. He seemingly did a good thing by making a sacrifice unto the Lord, however, it was not his place to do so. It was the priest’s duty. He made the excuse that the people were scattered and that Samuel was late in coming (1 Samuel 13:9–11). And then again King Saul disobeyed the command of the Lord when he was told to go and destroy the Amalekites; everything, all people and animals. He had no problem killing all the people, however, he allowed the animals to be spared. When confronted by his disobedience, he justified his actions by stating the people spared the animals for the purpose of sacrificing to God (1 Samuel 15:15). Saul had seemingly good motives—a desire to sacrifice to God. However, it was terrible disobedience. It is possible for self to be clothed with the garments of religion.
“Saul’s stubbornness in persisting before Samuel that he had obeyed God, was an iniquity and idolatry. His love to carry out his own will was more desirable to him than to obtain the favour of God, or the approbation of a clear conscience. And when his sin was opened clearly before him, and his wrong definitely pointed out, his pride of opinion, his excessive self-love, led him to justify himself in his wrong course, in defiance of the reproof of Samuel, and the word of the Lord by the mouth of his prophet. Such obstinacy in a known transgression, separated him forever from God.” –Spiritual Gifts, vol. 1, p. 366
“All are in constant danger. I warn the church to beware of those who preach to others the word of life but do not themselves cherish the spirit of humility and self-denial which it inculcates. Such men cannot be depended on in a crisis. They disregard the voice of God as readily as did Saul, and like him many stand ready to justify their course.” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 5, p. 88
Here is one serious final statement in this section to read: “Those who are most ready to excuse or justify themselves in sin are often most severe in judging and condemning others.” –Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 625. I am sure we have all encountered people like this—who are always judging and condemning others.
SELF DENIAL
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
This is the sign of a true Christian and the focus of their lives. “Those who deny self to do others good, and who devote themselves and all they have to Christ’s service, will realize the happiness which the selfish man seeks for in vain.” –Counsels for the Church, p. 521. The cause of God is primary in their lives and everything else is secondary.
“Heaven will be cheap enough, if we obtain it through suffering. We must deny self all along the way, die to self daily, let Jesus alone appear, and keep His glory continually in view.” –The Faith I Live By, p. 359
“The test question for every Christian to ask himself is, ‘Have I, in my inmost soul, supreme love for Christ? Do I love His tabernacle? Will not the Lord be honoured by my making His sacred institution my first consideration? Is my love for God and my Redeemer strong enough to lead me to deny self? When tempted to indulge in pleasure and selfish enjoyment, shall I not say, No, I will spend nothing for my own gratification while the house of God is burdened with debt?’” –Gospel Workers, p. 433
“Many think that because God has given them the means, they may live almost above want, can have rich food, and clothe themselves abundantly, and that it is no virtue to deny themselves when they have enough. Such do not sacrifice. If they would live a little poorer and give to the cause of God to help forward the truth, it would be a sacrifice on their part, and when God rewards every man according to his works, it would be remembered by Him.” –Early Writings, p. 123
What I have seen happen is someone purchases something new for themselves (like furniture or dishes) and then gives the old one for the church to use. It should be the other way around. Purchase new for the church and take the old for ourselves.
“Whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:33
FORGET SELF
Addressing the title now, those only will be saved who live forgetful of self. This is not some sad and weary training process or initiation we need to go through before we enjoy the bliss of heaven. Rather those people are the happiest on earth who are forgetting themselves and helping others.
“Those who, so far as it is possible, engage in the work of doing good to others, by giving practical demonstration of their interest in them, are not only relieving the ills of life in helping them to bear burdens, but are at the same time contributing largely to their own health of soul and body. Doing good is a work that benefits both giver and receiver. If you forget self in your interest for others, you gain a victory over your own infirmities. The pleasure of doing good animates the mind, and vibrates through the whole body.” –Christian Temperance and Bible Hygiene, p. 102–103 (emphasis mine)
By forgetting self in every aspect of life, we find the greatest happiness. We can overcome every sin. “It is the daily dying to self in the little transactions of life that makes us overcomers. We should forget self in the desire to do good to others.” –Counsels to the Church, p. 80
Even in issues such as our meals, “If you are in constant fear that your food will hurt you, it most assuredly will. Forget self, and think of something cheerful.” –Counsels on Health, p. 53
And then you meet people who are so inner focused and always thinking that people don’t appreciate them for who and what they are. “Instead of trying to elicit sympathy for ourselves by giving others the impression that we are not appreciated, we are to forget self entirely; and if we fail to do this, through want of spiritual discernment and vital piety, God will require at our hands the souls of those for whom we should have laboured. He has made provision that every worker in His service may have grace and wisdom, that he may become a living epistle, known and read of all men.” –Counsels on Health, p. 560
We are all called to be missionaries for the Lord and, “A faithful shepherd will not study his own ease and convenience, but will labour for the interest of the sheep. In this great work he will forget self; in his search for the lost sheep he will not realize that he himself is weary, cold, and hungry. He has but one object in view; to save the lost and wandering sheep, at whatever expense it may be to himself. His wages will not influence him in his labour, nor turn him from his duty. He has received his commission from the Majesty of heaven, and he expects his reward when the work intrusted to him is done.” –Gospel Workers, p. 92
“It is selfish to devote our precious time to mourning over disappointed hopes, indulging in useless grief that clouds the family circle. We should be cheerful, if only for the benefit of those who depend more or less upon us for happiness. . . . It is our duty to make the best of everything, and to cultivate a habit of looking at the bright side of things. Let the cloud that shadows us pass over, while we wait patiently till the clear blue sky again appears and the blessed sunshine is revealed. . . . Let us all forget self as much as possible, cultivate cheerfulness, seek to brighten the lives of others, and we shall then have less desire to complain of our own lot.” –In Heavenly Places, p. 273
“Those who labor hardest to secure their own happiness are miserable.” –In Heavenly Places, p. 325
“I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.” 1 Corinthians 15:31
“Self, self, self—how it struggles for the supremacy! In all things the Word of the God of truth is to be our criterion. Study this Word. Constantly praying with meekness and reverence, constantly rendering obedience to a plain ‘Thus saith the Lord’, you will reveal to angels and to men that you are members of the redeemed family.” –The Review and Herald, September 29, 1904
May God help us to forget ourselves in our service to others. Then we will find the true happiness that the world cannot offer. Amen.
Wendy Eaton