Last month we were introduced to the topic of happiness. Most people would agree that finding happiness is a priority in their lives. However, many are misled by the world’s idea of finding happiness, thinking that it can be found in possessions, in one’s living situation, or in engaging in pleasurable activities. Jesus tells us in the parable about a rich man, whose ground brought forth many fruits. In order to hold all his goods, he pulled down his existing barns, and built bigger barns, and then said to himself, “Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee, then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?” Luke 12:19–20. All the goods that this world can provide, the ease and comfort that money can bring is worth nothing when a life that has been wasted in enjoying the pleasures of this world, dies without having laid up treasures in heaven. Solomon, who had riches and glory, was lauded by the world for his wisdom, and what did he say? “I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.” Ecclesiastes 1:14
Very few people find true, lasting happiness. Why is this? And how can we ensure that we can live a life filled with happiness that lasts, and that is not dependent on what we have, our position in life, or who we are with?
Researchers have been studying the concept of happiness, and to determine what is needed for people to be happy. What science has recently “discovered” about happiness has been known for 6,000 years, and it can be found in the Bible.
What has been found is that those with religious beliefs are happier than those who do not ascribe to any religion. They are better able to handle life’s stresses. They are less depressed and anxious. A 2015 Dutch study found that participating in a religious organization was the only social activity associated with sustained happiness. Religion provides a greater sense of purpose and meaning in life, helps to carry you through low periods and elevates the high ones. Belief in an afterlife can make you happier in this life, knowing that you are heading for something better. Many religions also have guidelines that provide for a healthier and happier life, e.g. vegetarianism, abstaining from alcohol.
We learned last month about the trend towards consumerism, theorizing that the more you have, the happier you will be. The problem arises when there are an abundance of possible choices in a free, consumer-driven society. The term for this is called the “paradox of choice”, when there are too many options, and people cannot choose from so many. The rules of religion can relieve this burden of “choice”, by reducing these options, especially when it discourages unhealthy behaviours.
Strong social ties are one of the greatest guarantors of happiness. Religion is practiced in groups, with close emotional connections between group members; this sense of community works best when those who attend church are close friends with others who also attend. In living conditions where fear, poverty, and hunger are present, the connection between religious faith and happiness is the strongest. The hope of a better life to come and communal support drive this increase in happiness. Even in rich countries such as the United States, areas with lower life expectancies and higher poverty rates have a higher proportion of religious followers. And, added to all this, happiness has always been one of the main goals of religion. Belief in God and the happiness that this belief brings is what makes religion so attractive. The Dalai Lama posed a question, “Isn’t a life based on seeking personal happiness by nature self-centred, and even self-indulgent?” He countered by stating that it is unhappy people who tend to be most self-focused and often socially withdrawn, brooding, and even antagonistic. Happy people are found to be more loving and forgiving, more flexible and creative, and more sociable.
There are specific guidelines and behaviours, based in the practice of religion, that have been linked to higher levels of happiness. Let us look at the first of them this month.
RESILIENCE
“Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means ‘bouncing back’ from difficult experiences.”
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx.
Many people react with strong emotions when faced with severe stress, yet many people are able to adapt well over time to these often life-changing experiences. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone. It is known that stressful situations can change the structure and function of the brain. Training is possible to change the brain to become more resilient. If you train your brain, then how you respond under pressure can be up to you. Resilience allows an individual to not only get through hard times, but allows one to thrive during hard times and afterwards. A resilient brain seems to shut off the stress response and return to a healthy baseline quickly, and is able to regulate the fear circuits which are triggered with everyday stressors. Many modern diseases have stress as a common risk factor; with the resilient brain, overall health is improved.
The primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside of the family. This includes the family circle, being part of a tight-knit community, and having stable role models that you can look up to. How does this relate to the Christian experience? God has a church on this earth, and each member is closely connected to others. We are counselled to uplift and encourage each other, to strengthen the other members, and to support each other during difficult times. We are our brothers’ keepers, and their happiness is the responsibility of each of us. “We are children of God, mutually dependent upon one another for happiness.” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 4, p. 71. “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2. We are given a similar counsel for our marriage relationships. “In your life union your affections are to be tributary to each other’s happiness. Each is to minister to the happiness of the other.” –The Adventist Home, p. 103. Not only do we benefit by accepting help and support from those who care about us, but helping others in their time of need also benefits the one who helps. “He that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.” Proverbs 14:21. We need to focus less on our own troubles, to avoid feeling pity for ourselves, and help others instead. “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Philippians 2:4
How can we ensure happiness in our family relationships? “Whether the home be humble or elegant, . . . there will be no happiness within its walls unless the spirit of its inmates is in harmony with the divine will.” –Ibid., p. 154. Happiness within families, and within the church will exist only when Christ is the center of the relationship. “The presence of Christ alone can make men and women happy. . . . The home then becomes as an Eden of bliss; the family, a beautiful symbol of the family in heaven.” –Ibid., p. 28
We not only need the support of other Christians, of our families, but we will only be truly happy unless we have Jesus in our lives. This relationship is the most important to us, in ensuring our happiness, not only in this life, but for our eternal life. Our Saviour, who died for us, wants to have a relationship with us, so that we can be forever with Him. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. God’s love for us inspires love towards Him. “We love Him, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19. We love Him because of what He has done for us. “But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” 1 Peter 4:13. Though we will suffer as Christ suffered, the end of all things is joy forevermore.
Resilience also comes from accepting the circumstances that we are in. We may have had goals that we were striving for, plans we had made for our lives, but sometimes our goals can no longer be attainable. We may not be able to change our lot in life; however, acceptance brings happiness, as then we do not spend our time mourning the loss of that which we cannot have. Job lost his children, his flocks, even his health. But he did not focus on his losses. He accepted what had become of him, and continued to praise God. “The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21
Paul gives us the reason for the resilience that Christians have during hard times. “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given to us.” Romans 5:3–5. We know that trials are not given to us to make us miserable and unhappy, but they serve a purpose in purifying our characters. Knowing this, the Christian accepts trials as part of the process in preparing for heaven, and they are glad for the trials that they must endure.
Having stable role models helps us be more resilient. We can look to those who have been through similar circumstances, and learn from their experience. Who should be our role models? Who should we look to for examples of resilience? The Bible has many stories of people who endured great hardships, whose love towards God was unwavering, despite the circumstances they found themselves in. We can see this resilience in David, Daniel, Esther, Job, Paul, Peter, and many others who were brought through great trials, yet were able to endure and even succeed. And who is our greatest example of resilience, the role model that we need to emulate to endure to the end? Is it not Jesus? “He shall see of the travail of His soul, and shall be satisfied.” Isaiah 53:11. “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
Why was Jesus so resilient, why was He willing to endure the suffering and humiliation of the cross? Because He had a purpose to His coming to this earth, and that was to save those whom He loves; and this brought Him great joy. He also wants His children to be happy, and He alone knows what we need in order to find true happiness. “What sustained the Son of God during His life of toil and sacrifice? He saw the results of the travail of His soul and was satisfied. Looking to eternity, He beheld the happiness of those who through His humiliation had received pardon and everlasting life.” –Heaven, p. 174
When under stress, many people worry about the future and they fret about the past. The more the brain dwells on these, the stronger the pathways become that reinforces this type of thinking. Eventually, negative thinking is the default that the brain utilizes. However, people can train their brain to build and strengthen new connections that do not reinforce this sense of fear and regret, and; over time, if these pathways are used, this becomes the new response to stress. An important pathway in our brain is from the prefrontal cortex (where our thinking and planning happen) to the amygdala (the emotional part of the brain that responds to threats). A stronger connection means that the prefrontal cortex can more quickly tell the emotional amygdala to quiet down, that there is nothing to fear. A resilient brain responds to emotions differently than a brain that is wired for fear. People who suffer depression and anxiety have a hard time letting go of emotions, and allow the amygdala to take over, often perceiving threats where they do not exist. However, focusing on what you want to achieve, and having an optimistic, hopeful outlook enables you to see the good things that can happen, and doing this prevents you from worrying about your fears.
How do we improve this connection between the two parts of our brain, to become more resilient? Facing the situation that scares you relaxes the fear circuitry. But, we know that we never need to face our fears on our own. Jesus tells us, “My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27. “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour.” Isaiah 43:2–3. We have the assurance that as we pass through life’s trials, we are not alone; Jesus is with us every step of the way. He removes all fear. He knows the heartaches and sorrows that we experience; He suffered so that He could understand our suffering. “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” 1 Peter 4:12–13. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Psalm 30:5. We rejoice in sufferings, because we know that joy will follow when we are redeemed. Happiness is possible in the greatest tribulations we may face.
Resilient people also recognize that there are times that they need to re-energize, to take time away from stress. Jesus often left the disciples to sleep while finding a quiet place where He prayed to His Father for strength. “And it came to pass in those days, that He went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.” Luke 6:12
Another criteria that has been identified to promote resilience is having a strong belief in one’s ability to solve problems; this helps people do well, despite difficult circumstances. This is what the world believes. But, as Christians, how should we consider our own abilities? “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without Me ye can do nothing.” John 15:5. Believing that we can rely on our own abilities is to fail. However, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13. “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1:37. This is a great promise given to us; through Christ we have all the power we need to endure hardships, and to be resilient.
Another way to develop resilience and turn off the fear response is in developing a core set of beliefs to guide daily decisions; it is when people have too many choices, that they often do not know which one is the best one for their happiness. The Bible was given to man, and its main purpose is to guide men to salvation, and to find true happiness on this earth. Its pages provide us with a set of rules and beliefs that are our counsel when making decisions. We will never doubt that we have made the right decision when the Bible is our guide. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5–6
People often learn something about themselves and may find they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggles. Many who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, a greater sense of strength, and a deeper spiritual connection with God. When difficult circumstances occur, resilience improves when we search for meaning in them. There is a well-known verse that assures us that everything that happens to us is for our benefit. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. “Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:7
The trials that we go through are to purify us, to make us fit for heaven; therefore, we are to rejoice when they come upon us. We are happy during the times when we are also in the greatest despair, knowing that Jesus is purifying us in the fire of affliction. Paul and Silas were singing when they were imprisoned in Jerusalem. “And at midnight, Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.” Acts 16:25. Our happiness in trials can also be a witness to others, who long for that same happiness for themselves.
We must not dwell on the past, as that prevents us from accepting that we must move past our mistakes. Resilience comes from learning from our mistakes and then moving on. Our wrong choices can teach us lessons. As Christians, when we make mistakes, we become aware that making any decision on our own without God will most likely be the wrong decision. And when we have remorse for our sins, and we ask for forgiveness from God, does He keep reminding us of our past mistakes? No, He tells us that “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12. We need to also do the same, forgetting about the past and looking toward a brighter future, a heavenly home and eternal life. “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” Isaiah 43:18
Resilience involves identifying what makes us strong. Where do we get our strength? When we feel strong in the strength of our Lord, we feel that we can conquer anything, that nothing is impossible for us. Moses said in Exodus 15:2, “The LORD is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation.” “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, He it is that doth go with thee, He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Deuteronomy 31:6. One of my favourite Bible verses is in the book of Nahum: “The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and He knoweth them that trust in Him.” Nahum 1:7. David recognized the power of the LORD when he was fleeing from Saul, who wanted to take his life. “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1. When we accept our weakness, we rely on God’s strength to sustain us. “And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. This same power we can all have; and when God is on our side, we can truly be resilient, happy Christians.
“The true principles of Christianity open before all a source of happiness, the height and depth, the length and breadth of which are immeasurable.” –The Adventist Home, p. 493
NEXT MONTH: HOW DO DIVINE PRINCIPLES CONTRIBUTE TO OUR HAPPINESS? Part 2