“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deuteronomy 6:4–7
The family is a special institution ordained by God. “There is a sacred circle around every family which should be preserved. No other one has any right in that sacred circle. . . . Friends and acquaintances we may have, but in the home life they are not to meddle. A strong sense of proprietorship should be felt, giving a sense of ease, restfulness, trust.” –The Adventist Home, p. 177
The husband and wife are to be all to each other, keeping no secrets from each other nor sharing secrets they have between themselves with others. Neither should he/she complain to others about their spouse, even if it should be in a seemingly harmless manner. This may result in problems between them.
We are admonished to pray for the sanctification of the avenues to our soul—our eyes, our ears, and our tongue—so that when we are exposed to any evil, we will not be overcome by it. Jesus set us the greatest example in overcoming and He will give us the power to overcome.
In our homes, we as parents must manifest the spirit we want our children to develop. “Let fathers and mothers make a solemn promise to God, whom they profess to love and obey, that by His grace they will not disagree between themselves, but will in their own life and temper manifest the spirit that they wish their children to cherish.
“Parents should be careful not to allow the spirit of dissension to creep into the home; for this is one of Satan’s agents to make his impression on the character. If parents will strive for unity in the home by inculcating the principles that governed the life of Christ, dissension will be driven out, and unity and love will abide there.” –Ibid., p. 178
“The cause of division and discord in families and in the church is separation from Christ. To come near to Christ is to come near to one another. The secret of true unity in the church and in the family is not diplomacy, not management, not a superhuman effort to overcome difficulties—though there will be much of this to do—but union with Christ.” –Ibid., p. 179
“In His wisdom the Lord has decreed that the family shall be the greatest of all educational agencies. It is in the home that the education of the child is to begin. Here is his first school. Here, with his parents as instructors, he is to learn the lessons that are to guide him throughout life—lessons of respect, obedience, reverence, self-control. . . . If the child is not instructed aright here, Satan will educate him through agencies of his choosing. How important, then, is the school in the home!” –Ibid., p. 182
Jesus Christ is the Great Teacher and fathers and mothers are His representatives, His co-workers and His co-teachers. They are to learn from God’s Word and then teach their children. The family circle is a school where parents have been entrusted with a solemn work, namely to teach their children sound principles—how to pray, believe in the Word of God, to love the truth, and to stand firmly in it.
Those who do gardening know that before sowing and/or planting, the soil needs to be prepared by cultivating, composting, and removing all unwanted matter to make it fit for raising crops. After the sowing and planting has been done, we do not forget about our garden, but we look after its maintenance by weeding, watering, and checking for, and removing unwanted pests, if any. We continue to do whatever is necessary to promote growth, until the harvest is ready. Likewise, parents must work on the hearts and souls of their children—sowing the good seeds by word and deed, continuing to look after the work they have begun in order to reap a good harvest.
“‘What doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?’ [Micah 6:8.] In order to be teachers, parents must be learners, gathering light constantly from the oracles of God and by precept and example bringing this precious light into the education of their children.” –Ibid., p. 184
In addition to instruction in the Word of God, our children should also be taught responsibilities suitable to their age, sharing in the household chores to keep the home clean and orderly. Children need companionship; so, while teaching them the various duties, it is good to work together with them whenever possible. It is also very important that we spend time playing with our younger ones. Spending time together will form a bond between us and our children. Each child has his or her own personality which we need to consider when dealing with them, and let us remember not to prefer one child over another. We have some examples from history where this was the case and it did not result in a positive outcome.
There are many temptations and perils in this world, both inside and outside the home; therefore, parents must put many restrictions upon their children. Satan and his angels are working hard to sway the minds of the children, so parents must work twice as hard to bind their children to their heart. We must show our children that we wish to make them happy and that we strive to do only what is for their good.
“Kindly instruct them and bind them to your hearts. It is a critical time for children. Influences will be thrown around them to wean them from you which you must counteract. Teach them to make you their confidant.” –Ibid., p. 191
Everything is to be done in faith, love, patience, and kindness, remaining close to God and to our children, asking God for daily strength and to impart His grace to our children. Jesus, our Saviour, is always ready to help the faithful mother and father in their great work, as they strive to educate their children on the way to salvation. Human effort alone cannot do it.
“No work can equal that of the Christian mother. She takes up her work with a sense of what it is to bring up her children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. How often will she feel her burden’s weight heavier than she can bear; and then how precious the privilege of taking it all to her sympathizing Saviour in prayer! She may lay her burden at His feet and find in His presence a strength that will sustain her and give her cheerfulness, hope, courage, and wisdom in the most trying hours. How sweet to the careworn mother is the consciousness of such a friend in all her difficulties!” –Ibid., p. 204–205
“Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.” Psalm 31:24
May the Lord help us all, as parents, to learn from our Great Teacher, Jesus Christ, our example, and create a home where love, peace, and unity reigns, and may we teach our children to walk in the way of the Lord, is my prayer. Amen.
Franziska Pedersen