Finding Forgiveness

One warm summer’s day Kevin had promised to take his brother Mark to the zoo. They had been to the zoo before, but six-year old Mark never got tired of seeing all the animals at play, especially the monkeys. Kevin felt good when he saw how excited Mark was.

Today was going to be even more special because Kevin’s friend, Matthew was coming along with his younger brother, Philip. Together Mark and Kevin sat on the front steps patiently waiting for their friends to come by so they could go.
Occasionally Mark would get a little impatient and run around the yard, up and down the stairs, and in and out of the house.

“Calm down,” Kevin would tell him, “You will need all your energy for the zoo. We will do a lot of walking when we get there.”

Mark would settle down for a few minutes, but then he was up again. It was not too long before another friend of Kevin’s rode up on his bicycle. Carson seemed to be in such a rush as he rode quickly up the front pathway towards them. He held up a large sheet of paper in one hand and seemed in a desperate hurry.

“Look at this!” Kevin unfolded the paper and saw a series of short scrawls. They seemed to be signatures of people though he could not make out the names of the first two. Then he saw a clearly written name of a television star and then the autographs of several baseball players.

“Look on the back,” puffed Carson. “I got the governor too!”
Kevin looked at his friend suspiciously. “Where did you get these?”
“Let me see!” begged Mark.

Carson ignored Mark as he took back his paper. “Down at the golf course. There are so many big name people there I don’t even have half of them yet.

“Grab your bike and a pen and paper and let’s go down there before they all leave.”
Kevin got up to open the door and then stopped. “I’m supposed to wait here for Matthew. He’s bringing his little brother and we’re taking Mark to the zoo in less than half an hour.” Mark grinned at his brother. “Come on, we’ll be back in time,” said Carson impatiently.

“Even if we don’t, Mark can go with Matthew since he’s got to take his little brother anyway. And if worse comes to worse you can go another day. This is a once-in-alifetime chance!”

Kevin stood holding the door open while he debated what to do. Finally he bent down and put his arm around Mark’s shoulder. “Mark, if we don’t happen to get back before Matthew shows up, you can go with him. You won’t care if I am not there as long as you get to go with Philip. Just remember to tell your sister when you leave. I’ll try to get back though.”

Carson laughed as they rode down the hill in front of the house. “You know with the lines you’ll have to wait in at the golf course, we’ll never get back in half an hour.”

“Maybe not,” said Keith.
“But I brought along an extra sheet to get autographs for Matthew. When I give him that, he won’t be so upset that I didn’t come.”

Not knowing how long he had been gone, Kevin returned home when he had been satisfied with the autographs he obtained. He knew he had gone past his half an hour, but he did not know how long. He figured by now Mark would be happily enjoying the animals at the zoo with Matthew and Philip.
However upon entering the garage with his bicycle, he could hear Mark crying inside the house.

“What is Mark doing back so soon?” he wondered. “I wasn’t gone that long, and he should still be at the zoo. Matthew couldn’t have been this late picking him up.”

But he could tell by the sobs that something had gone wrong. He felt a little guilty about running out on Mark, and he had a suspicion that he was in some trouble.

“Where have you been?”
asked both parents at once as Kevin stepped in the door. Kevin was about to answer when he saw the clock. He had been gone for over two hours!

“You were supposed to take Mark to the zoo and you just left him here! What were you thinking of?” asked Mom. She was holding Mark’s head against her shoulder as he sniffled quietly. “Something came up. I thought Matthew would…” mumbled Kevin. “I’m really sorry Mark.”

“Something came up?” said his dad. “He’s not Matthew’s brother. When Matthew got here and found out you had gone off somewhere; he was angry and left without Mark. I don’t blame him!

But the thing I can’t understand is how you could leave a six-year old boy at home all alone? Kevin, he’s too little to take care of himself!”

“Where is Judy?”
“Your sister is baby-sitting down the block. We just got home 10 minutes ago. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” said Dad, his voice rising. Kevin lost his temper, and angry words were exchanged before he ended up slamming a door and running upstairs to his room. It didn’t take long for his anger to melt away. He knew he was wrong. He was upset that things had turned out this way, but mostly he was upset with himself.

“How in the world could I have done such a mean thing to Mark?” he thought. “He’d been looking forward to it all week.
Matthew deserved better treatment too. Then I start talking back to my parents and saying things I don’t mean. All for a lousy pageful of autographs. He flicked the paper off his desk and watched it flutter to the floor.

Then he sat on the edge of his bed with his knees up to his chin. He began to think of all the things he had done wrong lately. The longer he sat there, the more he remembered. His list seemed to pile until it was way in the hundreds of unkind acts.

“For every sin I remember there are probably 10 more that I managed to forget,” he thought.
“Why do my parents put up with all this?” Then a worse thought came to him. “Why does God put up with me? I’ve done too many things for even God to forgive. What if he punishes me?”

He was very near to tears, and suddenly he knew what he must do. “I don’t deserve another chance,” he said out loud. “I don’t see how I can talk to my parents or God again. I shouldn’t even talk to Mark. He deserves something more than a rotten brother!”

Just then Mark peeked around the doorway into Kevin’s room. He was wearing his pajamas and he had just taken a bath.

“You’re not always a rotten brother,” said Mark.
“I am too,” Kevin said irritably. He listed a couple of week’s worth of bad behaviour.
“And then I left you alone, and something could have happened to you with no one else around.
Besides you didn’t get to the zoo like I promised you.”

“That’s OK,” said Mark, walking into the room. “You said you were sorry. You didn’t do it to be mean, did you? Can we go to the zoo tomorrow?”
“Sure,” said Kevin. “I don’t know why you want me around.”
But Mark wasn’t paying attention. He looked over Kevin’s desk and the shelves in the room.

“Where are the autographs?”
“Right here, take a look if you want.” He picked up the sheet off the floor and handed it to Mark. “Come on, Mark, you’re supposed to be in bed.”

As he led Mark into the hall he asked, “You mean all I have to do is say I’m sorry and you forget the whole thing? Wow! I wish it was that easy with ” he paused.

“You wish it were that easy with whom?” asked Dad who was waiting for them by Mark’s bed. Kevin stood silently for a few seconds while Mark climbed into bed.

“With you and Mom. And God. It can’t be that easy when you’ve got a list this long to ask forgiveness for.” He held his arms out as wide as he could.

Dad gave Mark a hug. “I know you have a wonderful little brother, Kevin. But if you think he knows more about forgiveness than God does, you’re giving him too much credit. Or you’re not giving God enough. Maybe you’re not
giving Mom and I enough credit either.”

“There must come a time when people get tired of forgiving,” said Kevin. “I think I’ve used up my chances.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Dad said. “Mark was saying something that God has always said. All you have to do is be sorry for your sins and confess them. God knows you’re not perfect. He loves us all so much that He’s willing to forgive us no matter how many wrong things we have done in the past. Even better yet, if we ask for His help, He will help us in the future so we won’t repeat the same sins again. He can help us to be better Christians. He really does want to help you reach the goal of perfection that the Bible talks about and with His help you can do it one day.”

“I’m really sorry about today, Dad. And Mark.”
“You’ already said that,” sighed Mark. “Good night.”
“Good night,” answered Dad and Kevin. As they walked together down the stairs, Dad turned to Kevin. “The rest of us have already forgiven you for today.

How about forgiving yourself?”
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9.
Lord, it’s a terrible feeling knowing that I’ve done something wrong. I’ve known that feeling more than I care to. But you are able to remove that feeling.
Thank you.