This saying that we have in the English language, “The Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence” is thought to have been derived from seeing a herd of cattle grazing through the fence on the grass on the other side, or some cattle who have escaped from one pasture and gone into another in search of new grass to eat.
It became popular in the early 1900’s when a song written by Raymond B. Egan and Richard A. Whiting used the words, “The Grass is Always Greener in the Other Fellow’s Yard.”
It is said to have originated from, “A Latin proverb cited by Erasmus of Rotterdam was translated into English by Richard Taverner in 1545, as:
“The corne in an other mans ground semeth euer more fertyll and plentifull then doth oure own.” (The corn in another man’s ground seems ever more fertile and plentiful than our own does.)
The poet Ovid takes this further, saying in his ‘Art of Love’ (1 BC) that:
‘the harvest is always richer in another man’s field.’”
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/479662/origin-of-the-grass-is-always-greener
Although this saying is nearly 500 years old, it is very common in the English language; and many people have been guilty of seeing things this way. The meaning of this saying is that we see something someone else has and it is something that we do not currently have, but we think that if we do have it, we will be in utopia—or at least a lot happier. Things always seem better somewhere else. It seems that someone else’s life is better than ours and out of our reach. No matter how good you may have it, if you are suffering from this syndrome, there is always something else that someone else has that you think will bring you more happiness.
We live in a society that thrives on comparison. We often look at the lives of others and determine based on “what we see” that their lives might actually be better than our own. Their lives look so good that we find ourselves wishing we were living their “good life.” People read magazines and books about the lives of the rich and famous and wonder what it would be like to have enough money to not have to work another day in their lives. They strive to get to what appears as greener pastures only to find that once they get there those pastures do not look any greener than the ones they left. The grass may actually look greener on the other side only until they get there.
We do not always get there, but this endless longing robs a person of life and happiness in the present moment.
Why would the neighbour’s grass look greener?
It is normally thought that a greener lawn is a healthier lawn. As you compare your lawn with your neighbours it sometimes looks greener, why?
For grass to grow, it needs sunshine, water, and sometimes people add a chemical fertilizer to make it look really green. The sunshine we cannot control. The water we do have some control over. If we have a sufficient water supply, we can water our lawns regularly during the dry season. Perhaps the neighbour waters his lawn more frequently since depending on the rain from the sky is not enough in some areas of the world. And maybe he adds a fertilizer.
Comparing our spiritual lives to the lawn, for you to grow you need the sunshine of God’s presence by continual prayer and communion with God. You need the
addition of the water that Jesus offered to the Woman at Samaria, “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” John 4:14. Your spiritual lawn is watered by studying the word of of God on a regular basis.
And then it also helps to feed our soil. “And Jesus said unto them, I am the Bread of Life: he that cometh to Me shall never hunger.” John 6:35. Jesus is the Bread of Life. When we feed on this Bread, He becomes a part of us. It is not enough to only know about Christ, we need Christ living within. “Which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27
If the grass in our yard does not look green as our neighbour’s, who can we blame? Sometimes we are at fault. If my neighbor has the same type of grass that I have, and the same type of soil, and his always looks greener than mine, then it must be something that I am not doing that is making my grass less green.
What would happen then if my neighbour and I decided to switch houses because I really love his yard better than my own? If I take care of my new yard like I took care of my old yard, my new yard will eventually become my old yard. My neighbour’s new yard would still look greener than my yard.
Yes, the grass might look greener on the other side but that is until we take over and ruin it. We can be fooled by the greener grass into thinking that it is not our fault. We blame the yard—the circumstance we are in, when it may, in fact, be our own fault.
Our grass (life) is in our hands and what we do with it is within our power. While we keep staring at the green grass of our neighbour’s we become more disappointed with our own until we are ready to get rid of what we have to gain that of our neighbour’s. We cease to have any desire to work on our yard any longer.
The neighbour has worked hard on his lawn and we want it without the labour involved. We can read what King Ahab did when he coveted the vineyard that Naboth worked very hard to maintain (See 1 Kings 21:1–19). Stop looking at your neighbour’s lawn and start to work on your own. And work!!!
If someone’s personal life or position in the church looks more favourable than ours, the solution is not simply to trade places. They worked hard to get there, and we are also expected to work hard. We can learn from others, but we cannot trade places with them. Do they pray more? Spend more time in Bible study? Perhaps those are good habits to develop in the process of caring for our yard.
“We are on the great battlefield of life, and let it never be forgotten that we are individually responsible for the issue of the struggle.” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 5, p. 337–338
The greenness and quality of my neighbour’s lawn might not be meant for me.
What happens if you have a different type of soil than your neighbour? What if your soil contains more clay? Or perhaps there are insects infecting the lawn, or maybe just a lot of weeds have taken root.
You may work as hard as your neighbour, but you still may not have quite as green a lawn. Be content with your yard. Nurture it to the best of your ability, but do not compare it to your neighbour’s. The same amount of care may never make your lawn as green.
Similarly, do not keep comparing your life to others in the church who seem to have more advantages than you do in life. They may have more talents, they may have more positions, they may have more wealth. That is between them and God. They will also have more responsibility and be held more accountable for their talents. You need to keep your eyes on Christ and use what you have been entrusted with to the best of your ability. You may never be given more. What you do with what you have is what matters in the eyes of Christ.
“God considers more with how much love we work, than the amount we do. Love is a heavenly attribute. The natural heart cannot originate it. The heavenly plant only flourishes where Christ reigns supreme. Where love exists, there is power and truth in the life. Love does good and nothing but good. Those who have love bear fruit unto holiness, and in the end everlasting life.” –The Youth’s Instructor, January 13, 1898
Onesimus had run away from his master, Philemon, for greener pastures. During his wanderings he ran into the Apostle Paul and his life was changed. He then ministered to Paul. Paul told Philemon about Onesimus. “Which in time past was to thee unprofitable, but now profitable to thee and to me.” Philemon 1:11
Paul then mentioned, “Whom I would have retained with me, that in thy stead he might have ministered unto me in the bonds of the gospel.” v. 13. Onesimus ministered to Paul and would have loved to remain in Paul’s presence; however, Paul told him that this was not his yard. His place to be was with his master that he had run away from. Paul then sent him back to his master, telling Philemon, “I have sent again.” v. 12
Some things may be good—but they are not for you. Do not covet what others have—ask the Lord to guide you to where He wants you to be.
It is all in the perspective. From a distance the neighbour’s lawn looks better. It might be better, but it might not.
In your own lawn by your feet you may see bare patches and other blemishes. Then looking over the fence to your neighbour’s field in the distance you may see only green healthy growth.
In the heat of the summer, the grass may wilt a little and turn yellow, but the weeds remain green and vibrant. If you take a closer look at your neighbour’s lawn, is it really greener or does it have more weeds? Also, if you look closely, you may find the odd bare spot here and there also in the neighbour’s lawn. You cannot see the many blemishes in the neighbour’s field because you are looking at it from a distance.
We can get fooled by the grass in someone else’s yard which will make us “think” differently about our own grass. People often get fooled because what something appears to be is not always what it actually is. This is why we need to stop comparing ourselves with others.
Lot thought the valley looked greener. It appeared so from the distance, but it was a façade by the enemy. “And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.” Genesis 13:10. It was there that he lost his family. Close-up, the pasture in Sodom was filled with weeds and corruption.
In the days of Christ, to many simple-minded people the Jewish leaders seemed to have great privileges and advantages, but upon close inspection, their lives were corrupt. Jesus called them a “generation of vipers.” Matthew 23:33
If we have adequate sunshine and water, but still we want our grass to be greener, we can add fertilizer. But, what happens if you add too much fertilizer? It will kill and burn the grass. Food is good, but too much of a good thing is not so good “Many who discard flesh meats and other gross and injurious articles think that because their food is simple and wholesome they may indulge appetite without restraint, and they eat to excess, sometimes to gluttony. This is an error.” –Counsels on Diet and Foods, p. 133–134
When we work with souls and are sharing the Bread of Life, we need to be very careful how we present the words and to whom. It is a science. We have to know the soil of the person’s heart and the condition of their spiritual life. We do not want to destroy or burn them with too much good information. We do not go to people and tell them on the first study that their current church (which they are very active in) is Babylon and will be punished by the wrath of God. We present the love of Christ. We gently fertilize, little by little.
From the first sin of Adam and Eve we can learn how far this desire for a greener pasture can lead to.
Adam and Eve did not need to eat of the Tree of Knowledge. They had plenty of trees to eat from. They were not suffering from hunger. But the one they could not have, was the one that Eve looked at with admiration. For the moment it looked greener than the other fruit because it had a special quality to make one wise (as she was told by the serpent–Genesis 3:5).
“The angels had cautioned Eve to beware of separating herself from her husband while occupied in their daily labor in the garden; with him she would be in less danger from temptation than if she were alone. But absorbed in her pleasing task, she unconsciously wandered from his side. On perceiving that she was alone, she felt an apprehension of danger, but dismissed her fears, deciding that she had sufficient wisdom and strength to discern evil and to withstand it. Unmindful of the angels’ caution, she soon found herself gazing with mingled curiosity and admiration upon the forbidden tree. The fruit was very beautiful, and she questioned with herself why God had withheld it from them.” –Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 53–54
There are a few problems with this scenario. Firstly, Eve “unconsciously wandered.” In other words, “aimlessly wandered.” She wandered around without thinking of
where she was going. Everything we say and do, and places we go, every moment we live, should have a purpose. Even if it is a walk in the park—we should be aware of our surroundings and not wander aimlessly, mindlessly. Some people wander aimlessly through life with no fixed purpose or direction. This is true with some worldly people but also Christians who have become complacent. The enemy then leads them where he wants them to go. We need to have purpose in our lives and a clear direction, heading in the direction God wants us to go, making every moment purposeful.
Then Eve found herself in the face of danger. She felt an apprehension—an inspired impression, but she shrugged if off. Have you ever felt impressed that you are on the wrong course, and it bothered you for a few minutes, but, like Eve, you simply shrugged it off? You dismiss your fear, although this fear could have come from inspiration from above alerting you of potential danger—but you shrug it off. It may be something that family or friends influence you to do, or places they want you to go, or shows they want to watch with you on Netflix, that you do not at first feel comfortable with, but you shrug off your fears. And then you go forward. . . only to regret it later. I am sure Eve very much regretted it later. She felt she “had sufficient wisdom and strength to discern evil and withstand it.” Clearly, she did not. She showed what man is, when he trusts in his own strength and wisdom. Complete failure. She should have realized her helplessness without Christ and should have cried out to the Lord for help at that very moment. He would have come in answer by His personal presence. He will come to our aid also, if we cry unto the Lord in times of temptation when we are not sure how to get out of a situation.
“Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and He shall say, Here I am.” Isaiah 58:9. The promises are many. “Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” Jeremiah 33:3. “Before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24
And then Eve found herself gazing at the tree with curiosity and admiration. Just looking. However, her gazing created a longing.
We are told to not only just turn away from evil, but to, “Flee from idolatry.” 1 Corinthians 10:14. Eve should have fled when she saw she was in a dangerous situation. The end result was that Eve ended up questioning God, and thus committed the outward act in sin.
Christians often question God as is shown by the many Christian churches with a variety of standards. Do we ever question the standards of our own church as being too strict? Or perhaps God does not really expect that. Surely some of the churches are being fanatics. God will not destroy me if I spend too much time on the Internet, or if I am a few minutes late for Sabbath opening, or if I once in awhile eat some food that I know is not healthy. We may be church members, but do we question the finer points of the law?
Jesus told the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–24). The Prodigal son grew up in a good Christian household and was taught in the ways of the Lord and the benefits of good, useful labour. He grew up in the country where it was necessary to do good, honest work for a living. His family was well-off. However, the young man was not satisfied. He was unhappy, thinking that he was wasting his youth. He apparently was aware of the frivolity of city living, because he had a desire to be a part of it. It seemed that people in the world were happier and having a great time in life. He got tired of the day-to-day duties of life on the farm and requested his portion of his inheritance before his father’s passing, so he could enjoy it while he was still a young man. His wish was granted, and he left home with a pocket full of money to go find greener pastures.
He had a strong desire for what he thought was the greener grass. Many young people who have grown up in the church have also had this strong desire and have gone after what they thought was greener grass—a happier life in the world. Once they got there, some have found that, although it appears green, it is poisoned green, and they returned. Others never returned. They were intoxicated by the artificiality of the greener grass (chemical poisons) to the point where they could not think clearly enough any longer to discern right from wrong, truth from error.
To the Prodigal son, the pastures did not prove to be greener when he ran out of money. When his money was gone, and he was feeding pigs for a living, the greenest pasture he could think of was his own home in the country—his own pasture that he had left. He therefore returned home in humility and penitence. Yes, the pasture he was originally in was the greenest pasture that the Lord had designed for his salvation. The other pasture may have been made green by the enemy’s chemical stimulants and poisons. It was all a façade—a mask. That is what the enemy provides—a façade. There is no genuine happiness in his pasture regardless of how it looks from the outside and from the distance.
We need to accept the pasture we have been given and work with it. The apostle Paul learned to be content with his pasture. He did ask for a change at one point in time, “there was given to me a thorn in the flesh. . . . For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.” 2 Corinthians 12:7–8. But the Lord said, “no”. That is the pasture you have been given to work in. “My grace is sufficient for thee.” v. 9
It may not have looked good from the outside, but from hard diligent labour, it bore plentiful fruit. He had peace in Jesus. He was happy with his pasture. Later, he was able to say, “But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, . . . for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:10–13. Paul did not covet material goods, a spouse and a quiet family life—that was not his pasture. He had a difficult pasture to work in, but he worked it to the best of his ability.
“Those who allow a covetous spirit to take possession of them cherish and develop those traits of character which will place their names on the record books of heaven as idolaters. All such are classed with thieves, revilers, and extortioners, none of whom, the word of God declares, shall inherit the kingdom of God. ‘The wicked boasteth of his heart’s desire, and blesseth the covetous, whom the Lord abhorreth.’ Covetous attributes are ever opposed to the exercise of Christian beneficence. The fruits of selfishness always reveal themselves in a neglect of duty, and in a failure to use God’s entrusted gifts for the advancement of His work.” –The Review and Herald, December 1, 1896
“For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” 1 Timothy 6:7–8. “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5. “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” Colossians 3:2
Look at your life and see what you are grateful for. When you visit with friends and family, watch your conversations. Do you speak more about what you are thankful for? Or more about what your problems are? Sure, we all have problems but is that the main focus of our lives? We want to know how to fix our problems and once our problems are all fixed, we believe we will be eternally glad.
Can the Christian expect a problem-free life? If you feel this way, then you are not being shaped and molded by the Lord. Never expect your life to be problem free. Your lawn may have weeds, it may have insects that are destroying the grass. It may be in an arid environment needing regular watering. It may have too much clay in the soil, resulting in poor quality outcome. Yet, with proper care it will grow as best as it can in the field that is provided to you.
When we have the right attitude and do honest labour for our grass it will be green enough to satisfy the Lord. We need to take time to care for, water, and nurture what we have.
Accept your lot in life and glorify the Lord for His gracious provision to you. The grass is not always greener on the other side, prosperity is not always good, and adversity is not always bad.
The greenest grass that the Lord has for you will be found in the keeping of His commandments. Then you will be perfectly satisfied with your yard.
“If ye keep My commandments, ye shall abide in My love; even as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love. These things have I spoken unto you, that My joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” John 15:10–11
Your joy may be full.
Wendy Eaton